No 13th floor? i think NOT!

Hiest man Ritchie keeps on screwing up his "last" hiest in order to pay a debt off to a russian mob man. upon route to exiting a very simple robbery in which the russians assistant cared to join (and screw up by killing when there was no need to) the elevator jams and lets them off on the 13th floor; a floor which is unacessable and unknown by any other part of the building. after having no choice, the passengers on the elevator reluctant to get off in the first place now become hostages and before long all must team up to leave the building alive.
This movie was awesome! simple enough, eh? one of the many movies i picked up at a nearby closing video store, yet one of the few which surprised me and made me laugh. Not too many actually scary parts, but a horror movie non the less. on top of having extreme gore to indroduce it has a horror flick, it is packed with laughs around every corner (literaly), funny accents on people you know dont come from Russia, and a good looking girl to stay by the side of Mr. Dorff. Really through she somehow came into plan and there was going to be one last twist at the end, but when all was done and the credits came on the screen, i was happy with how it ended and glad i didnt have another frisbee as oppose to a good dvd. nothing too silly to bring you out the aspect of an event as oppose to a movie, hate that in flicks. Even though you are firmiliar with a few of the cast memebers, you still feel like this is an adventure all anew for each of them.

Better than expected!

Teasers for this plagued the movie trailer slots for the year of 2009 and made this film seem alot more calm and flasley intense, much like scares of that from The Grudge or movies like that. Little did i know whne my friend put on this dvd, that i would not want to watch something else or look away while smoking a much deserved blunt, but instead pay close attention to the film as darkness is always a problem in a well lit room. The story panned out well also, and gave time to slowly unravel what is happening currently, what disaster took place prior, and what shit is about to hit the fan in the near future. the ending seemed very "episode 3" and by that i mean the clock wound down on the film's duration and the last piece was put together to bring a little too much to the table, hard to swallow that much in that little time. Beggining with a man from a flight crew waking up out of a hypersleep only to find himself alone and full of questions he couldent answer. Waking up his luitenant and getting his help and guidence, he heads to repower the ship manually, only to find he is not alone. As the pieces slowly come together, other characters introduce themselves in both threatning and life saving manners. Though it isn't clear if these non human beings are mutated humans who boarded the craft to sail off to Tanis in search of a new planet or if they boarded the ship and feasted on passengers while in hypersleep; but there are alot more of them than living people and they are PISSED OFF and born/mutated to hunt. Savage to the point where the second one of they're own dies, they gather round and eat that hunter/alien's remains (guess hot meals are hard to come by). Glad no living person possesed superhuman strength or special ability throughout, a loophole the filmmakers could have expored but chose to keep the game fair and the battles real. Again, sucks i didnt see this one in theatres.. however, im hoping to forget the flick entirley and see it sometime next year in my own environment to experience the film in all it's glory.

Tanis Year One / Population 1213...

The French can not be stopped!!

Covering and perfecting many aspects of horror, as seen in the past few flicks put out in France, one topic was still left untouched; Zombies. Through shown a sneak peak of misformed humans who eat other living people's flesh in the film Frontier(s), we have yet to see people die and then come back. Boy, was it worth the wait! The Horde not only tackles and annihilates recent American zombie flicks, it also keeps the rawness to it and portrays characters you love to hate. Opening up with an unsucessful attempt on revenge by three cops (or so they claim) on a gang who murdered they're friend, the group finds theselves looking down barrels of guns and fearing they're lives will end shortly with no justice served, yet before they know it; the two rivals must unite temporarily in order to stay alive from a destroyed town's post mordem creations headed right for them. From the top of the run down apartment complex's roof, the surviving members of both the gang and police see what complete mayhem has ensued over the city. Explosions on a "one after another" basis, and the clouds dark yet lit up with smoke and fire like a fourth of july gone horribly wrong. I really enjoyed this movie, the fact that no one can be trusted at anytime really added to the intensity of the situation they were in. not only must each gang member or cop be aware of zombies from all angles running (yes, the french zombies are fast) towards them, but they must keep they're living breathing enemy in they're sights and make sure they don't fall victim to weakness and surprise. Seeing the survivors after meeting with a great comic relief character on the first floor really put them in the light of similarity to the video game Left 4 Dead. a vet, a black guy in a suit, a woman and a diesel badass.. sound firmiliar? Copies are not availble on dvd for this movie, i actually had to seek outside sources; but if anyone wants to watch this and not wait for it to come out in Region 1, let me know!

Everybody Dies...

Hearing good things about it from the person next to me as i held this film in my hand, i was almost left with no choice but to buy in front of them, for if i didnt, that might have directly insinuated my dsitrust for that friends opinon on movies, and perhaps all together. hell, for the pirce it was, i didnt really feel it would be a problem. the back of the dvd said something about combining two movies i liked, so when i got the free time to watch it, i popped it in.
The movie starts with a normal, middle aged (maybe a bit younger) man walking around town the night of or before halloween, when he suddenly steps on an invitation to a "Murder" Party. With nothing to do for the night, the man named chris heads home and looks for a costume for this party. Tho the mask he donned in the first few seconds seemed kooler, chris decides to cut up the box his old halloween costume came in and just make something out of that.
Within the first minute of him getting to the location of the party, you meet just about all the characters, you can feel how this film is going to go, and someone actually dies acidentally already! Lured into a trap set by a few select sick artists, Chris has become the one person who actually showed up to a party of his own death, and is tied to a chair until the group can find out how and what way they're leader wants him dead.
There were a couple interesting parts ot the film that made it stand out in mind, like the group (including Chris tied to the chair) get a shot of truth serum.. just for kicks, as well as the persona each character takes, showing that no matter which one you are or like, every artist is a wierd duesche in their own way. Every death was long, gory and drawn out too; things that woul normally floor a person immediatley would just have one of thepeople in this film talking for a bit and not realize theyre fatal wound, even complaining while dying.. holy shit!! haha, but nontheless a pretty good film overall. i dont see myself putting it on all the time and watching it alone, like the calibur of Dead and Breakfast or Black sheep, but still one that i could reccomend and play at MY OWN Death Parties!!!

Bill: Fuck the scene! Everyone dies!

The classic monster makes his return to the big screen, this time with effects and camera tricks galore to show quite a few amazing transformations from man to beast; not to mention ultra violent displays of thie monsters' power. No, that was not a misprint [SPOILER ALERT***] as in yes, there MIGHT be more then one of the creatures in this movie. Theatre star Lawrence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro) returns to his home town after reciving a letter from his brother's wife, alerting him that he is missing and asking for his help. Upon returning home, his father informs him of the news that his brother's body was found early the moring before. Unaware of a most horrifying destiny awaitng Lawrence, he stays in town in order to find out who or what did this to his brother; a one last look he'll never forget. Filled with mobs, accusations, and of course, vigilante justice in full swing, Lawrence finds himself the prime suspect in the investigation of his own brother's murder. Anthony Hopkins co-stars in this flick and brings an amazing contribution to the film; one great performance that I havent seen since the film "Hannibal". Also making an apperance in the Wolfman is Matrix star Hugo Weaving (Mr. Smith) playing an inspector trying to commit Lawrence for the terrible crimes he has commited, or so he belives. Instead of investigating, he sits in the local tavern and waits for the beast to strike, using the townspeople and his own fellow officers as bait. Seeing the past films Del Toro has made, I didn't see him pulling this one off; but given the background on the character he plays, he portrayed both the main character and the wolfman very well (subtracting of course his stunt double). His fury and frustration flowed very naturally and was exactly how I would feel and what I or anyone would do after his most rocky settlement back into the family.

Lawrence Talbot: [from trailer] I am what I say I am... a monster.

After the success of the After dark Horrorfest in it’s third installment, I noticed that Ghosthouse put out a series of films together; maybe they’re attempt to give films a DVD debut with a big company and cash in like lionsgate has been on this great genre. Looking in the horror section of a blockbuster video by me which is closing down and selling all they have, I saw this film and thought for it’s price; why the hell would I not take a movie home to keep for the price of a rental? This is one of many films on the Ghosthouse Underground series that I picked up, but the first I watched. Had no idea this was a seaquel and or a remake, but i will be watching the first installment this week for sure. Taking place in a desert where all are afraid of the Death Valley Drifter, but not for long for he is about to be caught. After his death, the man who caused murder and fear to dozens of people while alive now is truly a force to be reckoned with while dead. Years later, the killer makes a comeback in the same town, right on the day of his arresting officer’s last shift before retirement. With the same murderous instinct and armed with not only powers he didn’t have while alive, but a grisly new look as well. Almost what I would expect if there was ever a movie about Dr. Satan, the most underrated character from Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses. He explained that even when he dies, that means his work on this earth is done and another will be born to commit without remorse. What a sick fucking movie, not only with an original plot but with a scare or two and some really good gore and explosion scenes too. After the shootout between robbery suspects and the police, a warning from a Native American regarding the presence of an evil in which no one can escape from was something taken very lightly by the retiring sheriff; but after seeing an invisible wall as well as people who should be dead after injuries but aren’t, the only solution that makes sense is that of the Reeker. This film was a great start to all the Ghosthouse movies I got, let’s hope they’re all this good!!

When two brothers in need of money kidnap a girl who’s family has money, the cottage is the absolute worst place for them to go; to bad they won’t know until once they get there how truly bad it is. Showing that not every movie has to have a hero to make it memorable, but just some scenes of laughter and dismemberment will more than suffice. David and his brother Peter are running out of options in a cottage by a farm in a strange town after being discovered by they’re hostage and proven to be less than sufficient thieves and criminals. When the plans goes even worse than could be imagined and the kidnap victim (Tracy)’s step brother shows up with nothing but a bag of tissues, desperation kicks into high gear and David takes a drive into town to use the phone. After meeting just about an entire town of strangers (fronted by Hellraiser’s own Doug Bradley), he heads back to the cottage with a bunch of warnings from the people; when the REAL trouble begins. Finding a farm while being taken over by the hostage herself, Peter and Tracey run into trouble they did NOT see coming. Not a whole lot of backstory was added to this part of the movie which left me confused about why exactly this madman came to be so vicious, but it seems he has a soft spot for wedding pictures which could be him and his wife; before some accident left him alone and disfigured. After about 30 minutes of film, I almost began to wonder if this was going to be just a comedy about kidnapping gone wrong, much like an English version of Screwed, but before I knew it, the man on the DVD cover made his appearance and the slaughter began. Every scene of death was not only a surprise, but original in it’s own way; no one leaves this film unharmed. Both aspects of the film were awesome and kept me entertained throughout, and I was pleased for sure with how it ended. This movie was an absolute delight.

David: I found the other part of your foot.
Peter: o yea? what did you do with it?
David: i lost it, sorry.

The sequel of the 1986 film, a film which I was looking forward to seeing directly after the ending of the first one. As good as the first one was, this movie took a completely different direction into the world of the little evil goblins. Instead of staying in the apartment complex, or even following the Potter family, this movie started anew and followed a different family who’s upcoming vacation is anything but ordinary. Warned by the ghost of his grandfather, the youngest member of the family must do what he can to save them all and avoid all the goblins inside the new town which was completely full of them! The town of Nilbog (which is actually goblin spelled backwards) hosts them as a family from their town switched with them for a month, and starting from the first day there was trouble. Food was supplied to them, almost forced upon them; all with green goo somewhere in each dish. Without anyone in his family on his side, the son of the family has to do what it takes, including peeing all over the food and throwing molotovs in order to wake his family up and keep them from turning into the goblins delectable vegetarian dish! That is actually one of the only good spins on this entire sequel, the fact that each goblin waits until a human has turned into a plant before they chow down on they’re newly turned veggie meal. No one followed through on this second installment that was responsible for the first, so it’s no surprise that these effects were not nearly up to the same caliber as the first one; but a good movie nevertheless. Though the continuation of the Potter family and the single Troll from the first one would have made an excellent second film, this good but not great sequel does it for me, but who knows.. money might get dried up and either a remake or 3rd installment could find it’s way to dvd, if it hasn’t already.

Sheriff Freak: There're sandwiches for tonight in here! It'll go easier on you if you eat'em. It'll make our work easy. Otherwise, we'll be forced to kill you VIOLENTLY!
[Throws bag at front door]
Drugstore Owner: It would be a shame! The blood would mix with the meat, and we'd have to leave it in vinegar for the whole night!

Another great project in which Charles Band took part in, none other than the classic movie Troll. After moving into a new apartment building, The potters start to notice weird things going on with their youngest child, almost as if she is not herself. Right about their suspicions, but not knowing it yet, The daughter’s body is taken over by a troll and normal gets further away for this building by the minute. Knocking on doors of neighbors and starting mischief while inside, the troll shows his true face to those tenants following it up by a needle prick to the skin; ultimately turning the people into complete rooms full of greenery and troll like characters. I was NOT expecting that when I first watched this film, not in the slightest. I was expecting maybe a “leprechaun-esque” type character with a similar plot, but this part blew my mind, turning a human life into an entire eco system full of hideously cute characters! All the animatronics or puppet work that went on were very convincing and unique in each of their own ways, and seeing Julia Louis-Dreyfus whacked out of her mind wearing nothing but leaves was another thing on my list of things I thought I would never see. I myself have never been a fan of movies that were more for kids and lacked extreme violence, almost like monster movies for teens, but this one won me over; maybe it was the effects that did it for me. Those troll characters were a cross breed between Ghoulies monsters with a bit of a Ernest Scared Stupid Halloween movie; and I think I’m going to go put on the sequel now! Not a great scare but a sure treat for the eyes and a great monster flick!

Wendy Potter: Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold, pease porridge in the pot nine days old.

Robert Kurtzman, the man behind some of the goriest, most pleasurable scenes in films such as From Dusk Til Dawn and Wishmaster brings his own creation to life in The Rage; starring Andrew Divoff (Djinn from Wishmaster) and Phantasm’s own Reggie Bannister. The movie is about a boy who turns to medicine and vows to make a cure for cancer to which his parents fell victim to, only to be proven a pest to the medicine industries and locked away; labeled insane. With murder being the only resort and way out, the once calm determined doctor now plots the ultimate revenge on the human race; The Rage. A horrible plague which posses its victims and leaves them with a rage beyond comparison, that is; unless his cures for cancer are released and his previous work goes free to be put to use. Unaware of the genetics of some of the animals that might eat up contaminated flesh, the doctor released this plague which can now contaminate every living being on the face of the planet. What a gore fest! These makeup effects were outstanding to the point where I waited until after the movie to even consider eating anything. I really enjoyed the beginning as well as when the infection first breached the doctors control, what an awesome appearance by Reggie Bannister as Uncle Ben. I really liked the direction that was going on during the film’s start, but the seclusion of a group of teenagers from the original party just went down the same path I have seen time and time again, where one by one, each kid gets picked off, as oppose to a spread like in the beginning where violent death after violent death, the murders were completely un common; and there was no hero. LOVED the office as well as all the doctors creatures he made for his own amusement, but past that, none of the normal stupid teenagers did the film any good; in fact one of them at the end acted better when infected than when she was alive! Maybe plots were pressured, but a film like The Rage should have been complete chaos and had the end of the world as a climax with the Scientist as the protagonist and I would have given it easily 10 out of 10. Still, not bashing this film, it is a great part of my collection, and I will more than likely watch it quite a few times as well as recommend it to my friends and movie community.