pamela voorhees's Movies > Movie reviews by pamela voorhees

The Game Comes Full Circle.

Posted : 2 weeks, 2 days ago on 13 November 2009 12:17 (A review of Saw VI)

The sixth chapter of the Saw series, in which Detective Hoffman has successfully set up agent Strahm and put the blame on him for the murders that follow. In complete control, Hoffman has now gone from the jigsaw killer handyman and local muscle to the man behind the plan himself. Without giving too much away, I’ll let you all know he is the one responsible for both John and Amanda’s deaths; leaving him to continue the games as he sees fit. Now, the teacher of the ultimate lessons of life has a new problem to overcome; himself being caught. With the evidence mounting up more and each time he sees the agents working the case, Hoffman must act quick to finish his plan before he is discovered; and John’s final will goes undone. I for one was a fan of the plot, not only did the scenes and games do good in my book, but the way the writers kept the heat on for Hoffman, just pushing him to mess up and having the other detectives toying with him and playing games as to whether or not they know his involvement in the whole thing. Using up and recycling every aspect of the series is also a plus for me as well, leaving no stone unturned or no question unanswered; and doing it well. The games featured in this movie seemed to get amped up, more people were added and that means only one thing: more bodies and awesome death scenes! Seeing these movies really does give me a new lease on life, a more of an appreciation, as do I get pleasure in seeing the evil committed by the game’s players; and the moment they get what’s coming to them. Even though a couple people did not deserve to be put into it, the ones who did really showed what will they have to stay alive. Good going, looking forward to the 7th, I’m hearing in 3D?

Jigsaw: You think it's the living who will have ultimate judgment on you, because the dead will have no claim over your soul.
[crumples application]
Jigsaw: But you may be mistaken.

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The Dead Have Highways.. Welcome To Them.

Posted : 2 weeks, 4 days ago on 10 November 2009 03:45 (A review of Book of Blood)

Based on Clive Barker's Books of Blood book series, this tale tells of the suffering and thoughts of ghosts; along with the medium they use to project they're angers and share they're stories with the living. When captured and awaiting death from a madman hell bent on taking his life; Simon decides to share what he has gone through and puts himself at acceptance with death, but not before he shares his story. Recently called upon for his medium powers to spend a few nights in a house with a psychic researcher and see if anything strange goes on through the study. After weird things were declared fake and staged by Simon himself, he did what he could the next nights to prove himself to this woman ashamed to have asked for his help. Taking it too far and inviting the evil into his body, Simon’s skin soon becomes the passage and canvas for the stories of the dead. This movie does have quite a bit of Clive Barker Influence in it, both the scenes of skin being peeled in his oh so famous manner as well as the perverse scenes which are his character’s inner thoughts. This wasn’t my favorite adaptation of a Clive Barker book, but that is one big shoe to fill. No doubt this was a good release for the new decade, and hoping for more with this style to come along. With or without the body, the skin always becomes marked with another tale…

Wyburd: Where are you headed, friend?
Simon McNeal: Away.
Wyburd: Away?
Simon McNeal: As far away as I can go.
Wyburd: [leaning close] I think I can help with that.

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Tell Em That It's Human Nature

Posted : 2 weeks, 5 days ago on 10 November 2009 12:53 (A review of This Is It)

So much to say, not only about this movie, but about what the footage was. Made for Michael Jackson’s private library was the footage in this movie, where the rehearsals and sound checks took place for his upcoming “This Is It” Tour. Sitting down and viewing this movie was almost like the lead up to the titanic; in which things just got better and the rehearsals looked like a great time, but you know what is to come. I’m happy I got to actually see it in theaters, and if the tour came to America and I actually got to be a part of that; not only would I know I’d have a blast but Michael Jackson would have without a doubt in my mind redeemed his name as the king of pop in the States. A spectacle put on by a true artist, that of a rare breed as we have seen by the many recent horrid acts who call themselves musicians. The man himself Michael Jackson is hands on with every aspect of the show, leaving nothing to anyone else, and kind and understanding to say the least. Each song in this show has its own theme, like they are each an experience their own, and the songs shown were nailed on what they would say if they could talk. The atmosphere, the outfits, were all oozing with heart. There is a part in the film where despite Michael’s attempts to sing lightly due to practice amounts, he can’t help but give a song his all; and was cheered on by his fans and dancers who were in attendance. Very sad to know that a man with such talent has left this earth long before he was due to, and that this tour will never happen. At least there is this film, which ended on a high note, and captured his message to deliver to the world. Rest in Peace Michael. Maybe they will leave you alone now.

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Who Ordered A Whoop Ass Fijita??

Posted : 3 weeks, 5 days ago on 3 November 2009 09:37 (A review of The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day)

The long awaited sequel to the infamous Boondock Saints; in which all your favorite characters (especially the Irish family or Assassins) return to the screen. Their M.O. has been brought back to their old town of Boston when a priest gets killed brutally in his own church. Now, in order to clear their name and seek revenge on the ones responsible for that death, the two brothers head back to the States with nothing but revenge on their minds, and death to those who planned the setup. With the help of the pair’s 3 favorite detectives, plus a new special agent who insists one her way being the right way, the brothers stay out of jail and avoid the long arm of the law to keep the city of Boston safe by eliminating the criminals eating away at that very city. Also introduced is a new character who replaces the funny man (though HE makes his way into the film as a drinking buddy) who tags along and helps the two carry out their deeds. Not only was this movie one of my 3 favorite films put out this year, but it was one of my favorite sequels ever; up there with Basket Case 2 and Escape from L.A. Not one real bit of slow boring time filled with dialogue, and I could see myself seeing this in theaters one more time, at least. Though there was some gun crazy shoot scenes throughout, there was also a touch of how plans don’t always get mastered and the classic “come in shooting” scene doesn’t work perfectly; even in movies. Glad to see yet another film to have an equal second installment that strengthens both films, the first as something to break grounds of theater look back on, and the second to show after 8 years the director’s still got the same talent and could take the story that much further with success.

Connor MacManus: You ready for this shit, my dear brother?
Murphy MacManus: Let's do some gratuitous violence.

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Some Scurry Shit's Going on Here!!

Posted : 1 month, 2 weeks ago on 16 October 2009 03:59 (A review of Paranormal Activity)

Not since 2004's Saw has two people in a single structure been this scary, nor entertaining. Couple Micah and Katie stumble upon weird sounds in the night and decide to document the strangeness to evaluate for themselves. Could it be just the house they moved into together getting to them with "creaking wood and rusty pipes" as put by a professional hired to come down and evaluate if something supernatural might be living with them? Or is it something more, that even the trained professional can't nor would want to handle? The progression of this movie was pretty well planned and played out, keeping me and everyone around me on the edge of their seats; waiting for something to happen. Nothing too high budget, nor did it have to be, and that was the beauty of it, causing a stir in the audience before the crowd even left. I'm not sure if I witnessed people that jumpy before while at a movie, because this film struck the fear that this could happen to you at your house. Much to my surprise there was quite a bit of humor to this movie; a certain character didn’t seem to take the progressing demon experiences too seriously. Throughout the film they make jokes and talk sarcastically just enough to make you laugh and set your mind aside of the horror coming around the corner; a success as used in other first person camera movie and always does the trick. I don’t want to get too much into specifics, since some people haven’t seen this and my mind set was blank when I went into the film also. Didn’t know a thing about it and had a good time that way.

Micah: Fine, just stay up there and hang out with your friend; I'll be down here.

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Can a full grown woman truly love a MIDGET?

Posted : 1 month, 3 weeks ago on 3 October 2009 11:54 (A review of Freaks)

A Classic horror movie to say the least, one of the few brought out in the early 1900's to compete and win against most movies that came out recently, this year even. No special effects were involved in this movie, just humans with deformities under the direction of fellow side show freak, Tod Browning. Watching the special features on this movie shows alot of information, including that Tod Browning himself belonged to a sideshow, and knew some of the stars personally. It was one of the strangest films to date made by an American, showing physical anomalies on camera for one of the first times in cinematic history; all of the stars special and truly unique it their own way. The story focuses on a tiny man named Hans who falls for a trapeze artist named Cleopatra, who attempts to marry him and poison him; to then be left with his fortune and live happily ever after. Mistaking his kindness for weakness, Cleopatra surrounds Hans in the thought that she wants to be with him, yet Hans’ wife (who is actually his sister is real life) sees past it, as do some of the other performers. Seeing the two together on the screen when the film debuted really caused a stir in the film industry as well as society, as no type of a couple like this had ever been imagined, let alone shot on film. As the movie plays on, and the trap becomes set, many of the freaks sees Hans happy so they decide to accept her as one of them during their wedding; even though she has no deformities and has politically correct stick up her ass. After her poor behavior (kissing another man at the wedding) and sudden attitude change in front of Hans’ family of performers (screaming and badmouthing all of them when asked to drink from the same cup they all drank out of), the freaks decide it is time to take action against the woman plotting against their friend. The conclusion of this film was one that stuck with me, everything was just perfect as far as atmosphere, whether conditions, and overall fear put into shooting it. In the 62 minutes of the film, as promised; she became one of them.. To say the least!

Frieda: I was saying, tonight you must not smoke such a big cigar. Your voice was very bad at tonight's show.
Hans: Please, Frieda, don't tell me what I do. When I want a cigar, I smoke a cigar. I want no orders from a woman.

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Time to nut up or shut up!

Posted : 1 month, 3 weeks ago on 3 October 2009 10:32 (A review of Zombieland)

Introduced into this chaotic world by one of the few survivors left, we find out within the first 5 minutes of the movie why it's called what it is. A virus has been spread throughout the world that causes people to become extrmely violent and hunger for human flesh, and it was all started with a fast food joint serving a bad hamburger. I swear, if this really happens to humanity.. Anyway, only with the name of where he was going, Columbus shows us some rules he followed to stay alive, showing that even a wimp like him could manage to escape with his life from these things if you just follow some ground rules. There is a very odd and interesting way in which each rule is shown when it is folloed or being used; it pops up in a thick bold font on the screen and is blended inot the picture, so if a zombie knocks into one of the letters, it falls down partially, very creative and a good feature of the film. Not long after this does the plot thicken with more survivors; one man headed to Florida who is called (of course) Tallahassee with an awesome talent for Zombie killing, and two sisters named Witchita and Little Rock who both are pros at coning people and can't stop trying to screw over and rob the two men. There is that usual akward nerd/hot chick chemistry that's been in alot of films since Superbad, but it's not that bad and/or doesn't take away from the film or drag it down that much. With the group's individual stories of what places on the planet are complete ghost towns, all of them agree with the sisters' plan to go west, to a theme park in California named Pacific Playland. Great choice, becuase it really thickens up the plot and serves up an awesome climax along with many close call attacks on the four. While resting, they all follow Tallahassee's lead and head to the top actor's mansion where they could hide out, this part I was not expecting and it had me laughing a good amount. B.M., that's all I'll say. He is a great host and brings forth greens in the movie as well to his guests!! Now stop reading this and go see it already!!

Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a 12 year old!
Columbus: Women mature very fast for thier age, she's more mature then I was at her age.

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She's back to Slash last year's record.

Posted : 1 month, 4 weeks ago on 1 October 2009 01:47 (A review of Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland)

The third of the sleepaway camp movies, the second in which Angela Baker returns, played by actress turned photographer Pamela Springsteen (yes, Bruce’s Brother) to the same camp to kill those impure. Camp New Horizons, now re named for the third time to try and change the legend and put the stories to rest, becomes infiltrated by the angel of death after a very funny introduction involving a switch with one of the campers. How the hell did she get a dump truck? Taking on the role as a troubled teen from the city (equipped with a wig and everything), Angela comes back just like the year before to instill fear and cause violent deaths to those un-deserving of the camping way. Linked from the last chapter is the father of one teenager who was killed the year before, there to make sure there are no problems, and if he sees the angel of death, revenge will be his. The way the last two were structured, I could watch them forever if they kept going on with it. TEENAGE WASTELAND!

Angela: Are you a cheerleader?
Cindy: Yeah.
Angela: Are you a virgin?
Cindy: No?
Angela: You take drugs?
Cindy: Doesn't everybody?
Angela: Strike three.

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Evil has finally found a home.

Posted : 1 month, 4 weeks ago on 30 September 2009 10:15 (A review of Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday)

I had to do a review on this, for one the scariest movie I saw as a child, and the fact the other review doesnt (DOES NOT!) do it any justice.
The movie which ended the Friday the 13th series, and did a damn good job! Producer Sean S. Cunningham returns to end the series and put Jason in the ground for good. One of the most unique finales of any series of movies, in which Jason’s heart is the true source of evil, passing from person to person; and can only bring Mr. Voorhees back is if the creepy worm finds it’s way inside of someone with the same blood. This was one of the first Friday the 13th films I saw, and after watching each one separately in whatever order I saw them in, not many parts compared to that of this movie. The man himself who plays Jason (Kane Hodder) actually plays a security guard who taunts the dead body of Jason after being brought in from special police forces and blown to bits, and ends up being murdered violently by the first person to posses the heart of Jason, the Coroner doing the autopsy. From then on, the only sights of Jason Voorhees were very well put into the movie, they could only be seen through mirrors and that sorts of the person who has his evil “worm” creature inside of him. The transfer of this mutant from one person to the next is very convincing and disturbing, and seeing the brutal mutilation of the random couple who goes camping brings the motion picture series full circle. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED to those who have they’re doubts; getting this movie poster signed had me smiling the whole 2 hour drive home from the convention. Great cover art as well, all three components (steel mask, worm coming through it, and the amazing fiery hell behind it) really draw me to it. The ending also has been in the making for over ten years, and you’ll get what I’m saying as you rewind and replay what you thought you saw, but really did see though you can’t believe it.

Robert Campbell: I'm going to say a couple of words to you and I want you to say the first thing that comes into your mind.
Creighton Duke: Okay.
Robert Campbell: Jason Voorhees.
Creighton Duke: That makes me think of a little girl in a pink dress sticking a hot dog through a doughnut.

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Vampires. No Interviews.

Posted : 1 month, 4 weeks ago on 30 September 2009 08:49 (A review of From Dusk Till Dawn)

Two brothers go on the road and run from the law, and what seems like the hard part of earning their money is over. Over the border and safe in Mexico, now all they have to do is wait at a bar until morning for what they deserve. Little did they know the bar they headed to was possessed with both good and bad traits. The Titty Twister is full of women who drop clothes like they’re on fire for the crowd and make the night one to remember. If that doesn’t get every guy's attention, the part where they lock in everyone, turn to vampires and kill all the customers who have instantly lost their hard ons. Each brother has something to bring them to the screen individually. The character played by George Clooney is extremely badass Seth Gecko; who’s quick with a gun and not afraid to do battle. Making somewhat of a cameo (he wrote this and partially directed it) is the infamous Quentin Tarantino playing Seth’s brother Richard, who is extremely disturbed and can not stop killing the hostages he accompanies, even if they cooperate. Trapped in this hellish nudey bar and skilled enough to stand a chance against them, the Gecko brothers team up with their hostages and other customers to stay alive until dawn; until the sun becomes the living’s chance at freedom. There are multiple scenes of violence, it reminded me almost of a tales from the crypt movie, much like Demon Knight. Nudity, parties and sharp things headed into flesh, a definite piece Director Robert Rodriguez should be proud of and call among his best films. Making his appearance in front of the screen is makeup legend Tom Savini, playing a dangerous gunman named Sex Machine, who’s deadliest weapon is right between his legs and hard as a rock! Very creative to put that gun in a film, along with a whip, which I actually got to see him use at a horror convention last year.. What a Hoot he is! At least twice in this movie is the coping with an infected relative who is no longer human, but possesses the face and body the loved one once knew. Forced to shoot or become a vampire, the scenes are very well acted and make the viewer relate to that in their own way. Great film by itself, 3rd one sucked and I have yet to see the 2nd, but can’t see it being anywhere near this one’s caliber.

Richie: He's in the bathroom. Why don't I just go in there, shoot him in the back of the head, and we can get the fuck out of here.
Pete Bottoms: Don't do that! Look, you asked me to act natural, I'm acting natural - in fact, under the circumstances, I think I ought get a fuckin' Academy Award for how natural I'm acting.

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