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All reviews - Movies (128) - TV Shows (1) - DVDs (33) - Music (4) - Games (1)

How do you kill something that won't die?

Posted : 8 years, 11 months ago on 12 November 2008 09:43 (A review of Dead Next Door [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC])

YOU DON'T! What a gore fest! an all around funny movie with appreciation for the horror around it. this movie sticks in your head, in a good way. The Z.A.S. was formed by the government to seek out and destroy all zombies; as well as find a cure for the diease causing people to get up and eat the living. The pressure is on to find a cure when one of their own get bitten after stumbling upon a cult who wants this to wipe out mankind for the belief of god's will. some members of this squad are named ironically similar to the last names of horror directors/makeup people. I saw this dvd for 5 bucks in a box at a convention and urged my friend to get it, i had it and didn't need two copies.. he said no, and no one knows where the fuck he is. If your thinking of buying this, do it or you might disappear.

"Why is it still moving? does'nt it realize it's dead?!!?!"
Hopefully someone will be saying this about me in the future.


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I'll Take Care of You Alex!!

Posted : 8 years, 11 months ago on 11 November 2008 10:41 (A review of High Tension (Unrated Edition))

Since my birth, there have been movies i have regretted not going to see becuase of poor advertising making commercials and tv spots which do the movie no justice and put a different spin on things... this one i regret not seeing the most. Tattooed on me is the cover, from wrist to elbow in all it's bloody glory; as deserved. Not too long after the beginning (where two college girls are in one of their farms to study for an exam) does the blood spill. Armed with a straight razor, a shady man (of whom his face we never completely see) rings the dooor bell of the farm and begins to slice, starting with the father who opens the door (for what reason? i don't know) the suspense in this movie shows clearly where it got it's name, even i had to pause it to get popcorn, man this shit was intense. i don't remember the last i felt that uneasy; Alexandre Aja has quite a few werks under his belt, and this was the first one i saw. A rediculous twist, but i went with the ending and loved it all the way through.

"You Can't Escape From Me, Bitch!"


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PUT THE GLASSES ON!!!

Posted : 8 years, 11 months ago on 11 November 2008 05:32 (A review of They Live)

For quite a while i stayed away from this movie,assuming it would suck like all other movies with wrestlers in it. As a fan of Roddy Piper in the wrestling world i also didn't want to lose my respect for him in the ring, so i left it at the bottom of my want list. Then one day i ebayed it from somone who lived by me and put it on when i got home. as the beginning seemed to drag on i dosed off for a second and the interference with the static woke me up, realizing something was going down.. Soon. From then on the movie had me loving every minute; from its rediculously long lasting fight between Roddy Piper and Keith David over seeing [them] through the glasses to the shootout at the bank and bullets flying everywhere else. John Carpenter has not made in movie that hasn't blown me away; but this one was one of my favs minutes after i saw it. Such a good and firmiliar theme based on other beings controling us and sublimely telling us to obey and consume; making this nightmare of a world a realtiy; and a dream come true for the pockets of the players in the corporate game called capitalism. Roddy said it the best at the end... The Finger.
I actually got a chance to get this dvd signed too. Made out to me saying "all out of bubble gum."




"I Have Come To Chew Bubble Gum And Kick Ass.. And I'm All Out Of Bubble Gum."


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Whats in The Basket?

Posted : 8 years, 11 months ago on 10 November 2008 10:07 (A review of Basket Case 2)

Made almost a decade after the first film, Basket Case picks up right where the first one left off.. both Belial and his brother Duane escape police custody in the hospital with the help of Granny Ruth; a kind woman who helps those less fortunate and on the freakish side before they get picked up by sideshows and get exploited and abused. Settling in is no problem for the both of them in thier new home.. in fact Belial and Duane find a girl (their relationships both end in complete dismemberment) they like and might be able to share the rest of their lives with. Sneaky news reporters try and make a buck off the couple; and two go to the point of breaking in to capture a photo or two of the brothers.. BIG mistake. Filled with gore and laughs, as well as a lead in to Basket Case 3: The Progeny; this is by far my favorite sequel.. even better to me than terminator 2. Did you seem to remember two complete fucking freaks doing in Basket case style? I still remember the look on my friends face when he watched that for the first time. Good Stuff.

Granny Ruth: "I understand your pain, Belial, but ripping the faces off people may not be in your best interest."


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They're Hungry. You're Dinner.

Posted : 8 years, 11 months ago on 6 November 2008 09:56 (A review of Feast Unrated)

FEAST. This movie sticks out like a sore stub of a bitten-off thumb; filled with much needed raw violence and a good lack of CGI, in my mind making it fucking awesome. Out of nowhere a group of people in a bar (each with their own story i might add) turn to the door and witness a person running in, warning them to baord the windows and stay indoors.. then get sucked back outside and turned into a flowing river of blood (way more then needed and way more funny) suddenly the group inside instantly find themselves fightin for they're lives against alien beast things with cow and other animal skulls as armor. Able to fuck and instantley create life; these monsters quickly raise the death toll; barging in and shooting goo, humping things, slashing off limbs and all other things you can think up. I don't think there was one person i either could not relate with or didnt like as far as life like concerns are. out of the two that have been made, by far this one is better.

Coach: Oh dear.
Honey Pie: What? What's he doing?
Bozo: They're humping!
Beer Guy: Aw man! The monsters are doing it doggy style.
Hot Wheels: Monster sex.


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Quit Wasting My Time Frankenstein!!

Posted : 8 years, 11 months ago on 6 November 2008 07:34 (A review of Day of the Dead (Divimax Special Edition))

Easily, EASILY one of my favorite movies. The third installment in George A. Romero's "Dead" series, is a Trapped isolated group kept underground to research behavior of the dead as well as the disease itself. Using subjects to study both aspects of the plague two different scientists along with a group calling themselves a military operation, and a few other characters attempt to stay alive not only fomr the zombies; but from each other. Tension and arguments set a dark tone to this movie, as if Captian Rhodes controls more than he observes and protects the scientists. The Character Sherman Howard plays as Bub is unforgettable (i got it tattooed so i mean it) as Dr. Frankensein's pet; learning and showing that these "things" can be conditioned, taught to behave. "Say Hello to your aunt Alica.. Say Heloo Aunt Alica!" on top of the drama and post apocolyptic setting, the gore in the movies delivers.. not leaving it to the mind as in NOTLD or red paint like in DOTD.. this Tom Savini could call one of his Best make-up jobs. I was acutally inspiried to write a song about it, the first video for my band, if anyone wants to see the lyrics, hear the song or see the video, don't hesitate to let me know.
-S
vvvvvv Below signed dvd by George Romero himself! vvvvvvv



[Bub the zombie is playing with a telephone]
Dr. Logan: That's right, Bub! Say hello to your Aunt Alicia! Say, "Hello, Aunt Alicia!" "Hello!"
Bub: A-... a-... alloooooleeeeesha!


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The South Will Rise!!

Posted : 8 years, 11 months ago on 6 November 2008 07:25 (A review of 2001 Maniacs)

2001 maniacs, what a movie! Wasn't too sure where this movie would take place comapred to the original, in mind this almost was its own type of movie. sure, the bloodshed and such were the same as far as tradition, but the puns and racial humor was hillarious.. how they got away with killing a black guy in what appeared to be a cotton crushing mechanism is beyond me. all the same, shit was funny. I recently spoke to Stephen Geoffreys (976-evil) at a convention and he told me he will be a part of the sequel entitled "2001 Maniacs: Beverly Hellbilles" ... Pushing Daisys By Midnight!


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