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All reviews - Movies (127) - TV Shows (1) - DVDs (33) - Music (4) - Games (1)

I learned a new trick: how to map the human mind

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 29 July 2009 10:42 (A review of Batman Forever)

Though I will admit, it did suck that Tim Burton Stepped down as the role of Directing these films, I got to give this some sort of credit, now that the villians or at least one of them have been ressurected in the better more serious dark series of Batman films. Much better than the fourth installment, Both the riddler and Two face played their roles of uber evil bosses with some sort of a friendly twist. These two films (Batman Forever and Batman and Robin) were almost jokes about Batman, keeping the comic and classic series tone with fantasy and chliche up the wazu. The makeup jobs were good and I like to see all the goons go flying, plus one of my favorite actors, Tommy Lee Jones finally scores himself Two Women.. Get Em Two Face!

Two-Face: What?
The Riddler: I hope you made extra.
Two-Face: Who the hell are you?
The Riddler: Just a friend. But you can call me... the Riddler.


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Stop On By And Give Afterlife A Try.

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 29 July 2009 10:26 (A review of Waxwork)

A wax museum. What better place to go see on a school night, especially when it's in someone's house and you are invited by someone you have never met. Knowing the theme of this is the 18 most evil men of all time would definetley be something interesting to me, but being dragged into the period in which they were most evil, then becoming a victim of that person; talk about time travel! One by one, each of the characters who decide to go to this odd showing of wax art become a victim of the art peice itself; and also become another key to the eventual escape of pure evil. Each peice has it's own theme, and attached to it, an uncomprimising cruel death which all the teenagers face, no matter what room they enter. It's kind of cool in my opinion to have all time periods and all geographical locations to fit into one film, almost like House 2, but not that good. also good to see is Zach Galligan, making one more loop under his belt for a role in a good horror movie, besides Gremlins and Gremlins 2 (not yet out). After a couple people disappear, Mark (Galligan) becomes suspicious and brings the law into the matter; only to get laughed at and looked over as a possible suspect responible for the teens disappearance. Winner of 2 awards, and nominated for 4 more, this movie made it's mark in it's time, enough to make a sequel as well.

China: I do what I want when I want. Dig it or fuck off.


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Steak Tar Tar?

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 29 July 2009 10:04 (A review of A Cat in the Brain)

Written, directed by, and starring Italian legend Lucio Fulci, this movie put him in the seat as the director he is; and the murderous actions he films become a reality and start surrounding him. A very good idea for Fulci to make a movie like this; allowing his classic job of director to be combined with not only his direction, but his point of view as a director with enough violence to work as a conspiracy of a movie. Trusting only his therapist and telling him details of the imagery he sees while on film sets and how his work seems to be coming home with him. Blood is being shed in both his career world on the set, and in real life after he yells cut. After being offered some steak dish he always eats by a waiter that recognizes him, Fulci imagines horrific scenes of cannibilism in his latest film. The sounds of chainsaws fill the air like a plane taking off at an airport, and the blood flows like rain in England. Ironically this film in my mind is one of his best, and definetly his most underrated film. Getting released onto DVD in late 2008, as oppose to a bunch worse films who saw the production before this movie did not sit well with me; but at least it was finally in my DVD collection officaily, and may I add one I always seem to go for when deciding what to put on. Nab it while you can, put out by Grindhouse Releasing.


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Jason Lives!!

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 29 July 2009 07:52 (A review of Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives)

After the 5th episode from the Friday the 13th series, Jason is still alive as the killer doning the famous hockey mask was actually the father to one of the boys in the home; the boy that was murdered. Now, on a mission to find Jason's body and make sure it's dead, Tommy Jarvis actually brings him back to life and there goes the nieghborhood! Playing the role of Jason Voorhees was C.J. Graham, and he took his fair share of lives; hacking the most kills in a Friday movie yet! some of the deaths felt like fillers, like the three deaths in one stroke at the paintball part of the movie, they could have dragged that out into three different scenes of dismemeberment; but had to show the pure strength Jason now posseses. Overall, it was one of my favorite Friday films; and like every other in the series has a song in it that I can't get out of my head. Every time that Animal song comes on my ipod (yes i dowloaded it along with almost every other song) I think of the time the girl's head gets SMASHED into the steel backing of it and shapes the wall along side it. The only thing i wasn't a fan of was the underwater death scene to end Jason's reign of death in this film; I'm a much bigger fan of when he gets destroyed somehow by the hands of a blade or something that causes blood and scar tissue. Yum.

Lizabeth: I've seen enough horror movies to know any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly.


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We Can't Stop Here.. This is Bat Country!!

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 29 July 2009 05:14 (A review of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)

Give us your brain for two hours and you will never be the same again!
Best movie about and/or revovling around drugs! Though many come close (including another role Johnny Depp played as a main character in a drug movie) no ther movies truley capture the insanity inside an acid trip or a cocaine bindge quite like Fear and Laothing. The scary (and amazing) thing about this film is that is was based on events from wirter and 20th century legend Hunter S. Thompson. I am not one to do heavy drugs but even as a pothead I can relate to the film's abstract views of both main character's highs. Contrary to what you think , there is an actual plot to this film. Raoul Duke and his lawyer Dr. Gonzo travel to Las Vegas to write a cover story on the sand dune racing taking place; and don't even get a page done. Writing about other things and experiences going on at their stay turned into something way more interesting and trippy. Broken glass, Ketchup stained on the beureu, young girls obsessed with painting barbara Striensand portriats. This movie has it all! I was so amazed about the drug mentioned in this film called Adrenochrome (made out of the human adrelain gland) that i wrote a song with one of my bands about it. Very well put together and seeing Gary Busey, Christopher Meloni, and Toby Maguire's characters cracked me up. someday I will get something from this movie tattooed on me and I will post the picture of it. By then i am hoping to see no one WANTIG to see this movie and everyone SEEN this. Pick up a 20 bag or a tab of acid and pop this movie on; prepare for an awesome experience!

Raoul Duke: There's a uh, big machine in the sky, some kind of, I dunno, electric snake, coming straight at us.
Dr. Gonzo: Shoot it.
Raoul Duke: Not yet, I want to study its habits.


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What Are Your Boundries?

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 29 July 2009 04:22 (A review of Frontier(s))

Hands down, one of the BEST horror Films I have ever seen in theatres. An absolute treat to the eyes and mind. During riots in France, a group of people decide to take matters into their own hands and rob a bank and then kiss their old lives goodbye; moving away with their new fortune to start life anew. Of course, plans go wrong and one of them gets shot. the plan B to cover their asses and hide away turns out to bite them in the ass instead of covering it; getting them into a sick sadistic family's home and becoming lunch - Literally. The tension in this movie actually put me in the postition of some of the characters and gave me a rush of adrenalin unlike any other i've seen in theatres. The gore was also convincing and raw, much like the situations some people had to put themselves in to escape with their lives; or so they thought they would. There seems to be no safe way to escape throughout the town they stumbled upon, and once realized they are in yet another trap; you can feel the swallow of hope, fucking awesome! The transition of Yasmine from the girl in the start of the film as a caring, soft woman to a shaking, blood-filled killer hell bent on survival was one for the books as well; the ending was so fucked up too; yet very true to life. See it, Buy it now!!

Tom: [lighting up weed] Okay, that's my last joint.
Farid: Liar.
Tom: Okay, me second to last... third to last, maximum.


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It's A Race!! I Hope I Win!!

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 29 July 2009 03:51 (A review of Rat Race)

What an amazing movie! Set in vegas, with coins distributed to certain people who will become Rats themselves in search of the big cheese. Two million dollars waits in a locker at a train station in Silver City, New Mexico, and each of the coin winners has a key to that locker; but getting there will be an epic and funny battle in which other people are betting. Watching and tracking them like Rats is hotel/casino owner and his wealthy friends who will bet on almost anything imaginable, including which maid could hold on to the curtain bar the longest; what a hoot! The role of each character is perfect, as if they were born to be in this movie. Watching this in theatres for my birthday was one of the only films I remember seeing in my adolescent youth, and cracking up to throughout. Even the character introductions in the very beggining of the film was funny. Watching it about a month ago and laughing even harder, along with a room full of people inspired me to write this review; i actually cant wait to see it again in the future.. it might make me laugh harder, if possible.

Vicki: So, what can I do for you, Harry?
Harold Grisham: Okay... here's what I want. First... we both get naked.
Vicki: So far so good.
Harold Grisham: Except... we're both wearing sailor hats. Then we get into a jacuzzi filled with Pepto-Bismol, I clip your toenails, and you shave my buttocks.
Vicki: What's that?
Harold Grisham: Naked... jacuzzi... Pepto-Bismol... toenails... shave my buttocks.
Vicki: Well, you have quite an imagination, Harry.


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They did not finish to be alive...

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 29 July 2009 03:42 (A review of Martyrs)

Holy Shit. Talk about no limits of evil! no mercy is shown in this movie about revenge; and the concequences of being in the shackels as oppose to locking them yourself. As the film progresses, it dives deeper into the reason for lucie's prolonged torture; along with her evil creature pseudo monster who won't stop until Lucie sets things right and the family that tortures her pays for what they have done. Spiritually we the veiwer see that the monster cutting up Lucie and putting her through a living hell is actually the soul of one prisoner in the house of horrors when she was little who she didn't help when she had the chance. Hell, i would haunt the SHIT outta someone who had an oppurtunity to get me out of what was going on there but didn't. Watching the mistake being made of her friend Anna try and help the situation Lucie fell into face first and end up on the wrong side of the torture chamber just broke my heart; Only there to help out yet stumbling onto the greatest torture she will ever face - Torture that will leave her completly care and feeling free. Bringing women to the edge to see what is beyond death was the goal of leader Mademoiselle; and Anna was one of only four women to have that feeling.. the ONLY one to explain what she saw. Again, I say, Holy Shit. Out of all of the Great French works this is without a doubt the deepest, most epic tale of ultra violence and torture; with the biggest questions is search for an answer. One of the few Horror DVDs of the shelves of Stores Worth what they cost. Would have loved to see this in theatres, but looks like I'll have to settle for the biggest T.V. I could find.


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I Kick Ass For The Lord!

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 24 July 2009 05:35 (A review of Dead Alive)

You know that incredible tagline: Some things won't stay down... Even after they die. Boy are they right! As my 100th review, I thought no other movie would qualify that was epic enough that at the same time had no one who had reviewed it. Sometimes i would even like to get hit on the head so the part in my mind which knows a great deal of the movie becomes forgotten; and i can experience it for the first time again. Lionel is a quiet man who is dependant on his mother, who feels the same dependance to her son as well. While spying on him in the midst of one of his first dates at a local zoo, her curiosity comes back and bites her...Literally. Bit by a rare bred Rat monkey, the story begins and the gag reflex gets it's fair share of a workout as the next hour and change are pure entertainment. Treats to the eyes and a whole lot of laughs as well, the chaos that unfolds requires enough fake blood to flood the entire state of Road Island to a depth of 3 inches; giving it the quote above its title "The Goriest Fright Film of All Time." There are very few movies in which every single character gives a story and is actually relevant to the film. This is one of them. No characters of little importance, just a little more than a dozen players in the game; and a SHITLOAD of party guests who fall victim to a blade one way or another. Easily Peter Jackson's BEST film, Shedding mass amounts of entrails by the bucket! The akwardness of the main character and the situations each of the other people put him in was a perfect combination; breaking up zombie sex, slamming a zombie baby's head against a swing pole, and don't forget the constant needles to his much loved mother... Who just doesn't want to Stay Dead! I really hope no one into horror movies hasn't seen this, and even if it's not your'e genre, there is something in this for everyone! it's got love, comedy, makeshift aresenals and violence up the wazoo! Buy it and make all your other DVDs jealous; I got it twice.

Guide: You've got... *the bite*!


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Shit's ightt

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 21 July 2009 03:38 (A review of All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos)

Seeing both Danny Trejo and Jeffery Combs name on this DVD cover gave me confidence to buy it, but for what i payed for it from ebay i should have known what was coming. They were barely in the film, nowhere near enough screen time to claim the top of the cover art; where feature actors should belong.. famous of nameless. Once was alright to view this film, it's not so bad where you want to turn it off because you can't stand it; but not nearly one for the collection. A certain number of souls are needed to be sacraficed in a town on the Day of The Dead, and tourists find themselves the victims for years; leading up to the battle for survival seen in this film. I've seen the word nudity as partiaily describing the plot in this film, and that is no where near of a good enough reason to watch and/or buy a horror movie. Mixing horror with porn is one thing, as done sucessful in Burning Angel's Re-penetrator, but nudity in horror movies can only go so far. Watch it, maybe; but defietley don't buy it. 5/10


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