Reviews by pamela voorhees

Another great film written and directed by Frank Henenlotter about a man named Brian who’s life seems to be normal; until he meets his new friend Elmer. It is a simple, yet complex in it’s own way example of fixations and addictions through American people. Escaped from his prior owners in the same apartment building, Elmer clings to Brian and slowly turns his life into nothing but dependency.. on colors. Waking up with a pile of blackish liquid starts the new life of Brian, saying goodbye to his job, and his everyday life with his brother and his girlfriend. Now the most important thing to him the colors shown to him when a certain liquid made only by Elmer is injected through a hole in his neck directly into his brain. I love the play on words, you know, his name being Brian and the film subjected entirely around brains. Anyhow, slowly slipping Brian forgets where he is while on the mind altering drug, and that he is first hand giving Elmer meals through human hosts. Ripping through heads in the up most foul sex scene along with attaching himself to people’s heads; Elmer stuffs himself with human victims while Brian sits and laughs at all the bright colors, and his new found way to see life. The body count stacks up higher than imagined, and before long underwear are turning up filled with blood; Brian realizes all that can be done is a standoff to stop the deaths by not giving into Elmer’s wants, but a man can only last so long without his fix.

Aylmer: Why are the stars always winkin' and blinkin' above?... It's not the season, the reason is plain as the moon... It's just Elmer's Tune!

Contains the first 12 episodes made by comedian Dave Chappelle and writer Neal Brennan, possibly the funniest show made in the history of the world. Anyone seeing this review should know this show; and it all started with an episode which left me both stunned and crying from laughter; about a blind black white supremacist named Clayton Bigsby. Also featured in this season are the make a wish episode where Dave beats a bed ridden child in street hoops, ask a black dude with Paul Mooney, and of course the infamous Tyrone Biggums; Crackhead and motivational speaker. Though only two seasons came out of this genius idea of a show, for a first season this show didn’t lag or have any slip-ups to correct and make better for a second season. Packed with something for everyone to relate to, including refferless pot for people with help to quit smoking and a segment called “great moments in hookup history” about good experiences with the other sex, about getting lucky through loopholes and last calls. After all, who could forget the “penis in the popcorn” trick at the movie theatre?

Ah, I can just smell Synapse on this one. Unexplained attacks, 30 second zoom ins on topless girls, and of course; the improper use of power tools. After the brutal rape of one woman by a group of men on a construction site, people immediately start to get picked off one at a time from a camouflaged stalker strapped with a high powered nail gun, and delivering puns with every dose of bloody murder. Filling the room with a terrifying scream type laughter; that of almost a carnival theme is the one responsible for the killings, a person who’s identity remains hidden through a motorcycle helmet. With the deep voice overdubbed to almost be hidden as well as one of the first killings (nail right to the dick while a person is pissing in the woods) leaves me to believe from the start that the killer could be female. With no lead up to why or any other questions answered following the rape, one can only assume this itself; that the murders themselves are an act of vengeance. Both the little child and wife were left alone in the beginning of this picture when they could have very well been target practice for the masked killer, leading me to believe there is a target for the mails in the gun to penetrate; almost ironically “nailing” the men that nailed her. Overall, this picture is one not to miss if a fan of 80’s slashers. It comes with all the essentials needed to keep the attention of a fan, along with a list inside the DVD case entitled “Twenty Things I Learned From Watching Nail Gun Massacre”. The list, much like any insert in a DVD case gives more of an experience to the film itself. It is very sarcastic and gets my vote as a movie to add on my shelf. One of the funniest reasons stuck with me, and is as follows:
5: If you leave a session of lovemaking with your unbelievably hot girlfriend with some of the most fantastic breasts in human history so you can go and “chop wood” with your best buddy, you are clearly gay. This movie is very entertaining; seeing sheriffs just passing by our favorite masked killer (who by the way is riding a very inconspicuous hearse colored bright yellow) on the highway, but then again why would he stop someone wearing a motorcycle helmet driving away from the crime? After all, they are following not only the seat belt laws, but wearing a helmet for extra protection. Hopefully you’ll get a kick out of this film, and remember: if the nails fail to kill them, the jokes will.

Opening up with a sort of ode to Herschel Gordon Lewis and 2000 maniacs is a show called Trailer Park of Terror on a young woman’s TV; love seeing mentions of other flicks (which I’d love to do, give certain filmmakers their credits of inspiration in my films). All poor Norma would like to do settle down with a man who likes her for her, and the folks at the trailer park keep getting in the way and messing it up. Damn them for taking away everything she ever had and everything she ever wants; now its time to get even. Approached by a strange man with an offer for her to seek salvation through violence, hands her a gun, and disappears as quickly as he appeared. Following quickly id the killing by her hands of the entire trailer park as well as herself; making headlines and starting the basis of the film. Immediately established is a group of kids from a religious camp named Vertical Trinity; and of course is the first dickhead of the kids, someone you’d like to see dead after hearing less than 30 words from his mouth. Any movie I’ve seen with some sort of southern accent and violence comes equipped with some sort of short cut only the residents are aware of. Gotta love it. Hook, line and sinker; the group waits for time to pass after a crashed church bus and right in the belly of the beast, the trailer of once dead Norma. As the story she tells of her past unfolds, I hope to myself it’s just a tale, and that people down south are no where near this inbred and savage. Norma witnessed her mother killed while making a snuff film with the local sheriff and from there on was on her own and forced into whoring herself and other submissive acts. Like she says “beauty’s a blessing and it’s a curse.” Tempted by the offer from Norma, the priest responsible for the outing for the misfit teens falls victim to getting head… ripped off! Being picked off by the ways and many offers of a good time from the ladies; these sexual deaths give me a “2001 Maniacs” type vibe, from the puns of words meaning the unsuspecting males demises to the dismemberments themselves. Ironically, the premise for the Tim Sullivan flick was ALSO inspired by the H.G. Lewis classic mentioned in the first minute of this flick. Though Norma plays a major role in this film, I can’t help but be creeped out the most by the Chinese masseuse that helps distract the truckers while the townspeople rob the contents of the trailer blind. After making her first appearance since the discovery of more than just southern people; she’s equipped with a mask and ready to rub down the kleptomaniac of the church group who is looking for some company. He definitely got the wrong happy ending, not one any person I know is looking for. Now I am not one for gratuitous nudity throughout films, but this one never seems to push the envelope and actually deliver a single nipple. Defending a very close friend of mine, I would have to protest and ask what the reason for that is. The gore itself would deem it an R rating, and the limited screenings of this movie would not see the bare bodies as a problem. Watching the unrated version as I am writing this does have an overall feel like there is something crawling on me. Good imagery to it, from sweat and missing limbs to bugs and dirt all over both inside and outside the trailers. “You make my south rise again.” This quote is strikingly familiar to the song written for 2001 Maniacs song, The South Will Rise; and this movie is definitely this year’s “Dead and Breakfast”, full of songs and severed heads talking and such.

what a tagline- a new level of terror. Agreed, there is something about this film that puts me in a feeling like a late 70s early 80s sadistic saga; where there’s a psychotic male going about business as usual and his female choice of company who will do anything to escape his possession. Not actually threatened to be hurt, young Angela fears for her life on Christmas Eve after being trapped in the parking structure of where she works. Trying to get overtime and do more for company got her in this position, with no one around that late on Christmas Eve. Quite a few sequences take place without compromise that show Alexadre Aja is just getting started in his career to bring back fear to audiences. Just a simple man who wants the best for Angela is the parking security guard named Thomas. Both attitudes become awkward rather quickly after Angela wakes up chained to a table, forced to have dinner with lonely old Thomas; who believes his company might just fall for him if she understood why he is doing what he is. The first scene of insane control was the phone call made to her relatives to tell them she’s home sick. What a mind fuck! From there on, blood splatters and screams fly; killing rather violently and made to witness was a man who earlier hit on Angela and tried feeling her up. Not a fan of that was Thomas, and he showed it through overkill down in level P4. Taunting the man was downright hilarious; pushing him bound to a chair before finally pinning him to a wall and ending his life is a most foul manner. As always stated in the movie, his objectives to not hurt her, just enjoy her uncooperative company is his goal; what would happen if she just stuck around and had dinner, played his game? Good thing she didn’t because then we wouldn’t have a movie! After all his talk of men just touching her and trying to get away with it, and him only there for her company, the tape Angela saw of her unconscious body being felt up and talked to by the psychotic Tom she snapped and attacked the TV. For a plot with two people as stars, the body count sure has its way of rising! Even a dog gets his blood sprayed out all over a nice luxury car’s interior. I’m glad to see that, and for not seeing this film in theatres I am kicking myself in the ass. As a new years resolution from my first review of the new year, I am going to vow to skip no more films that have anything to do with Aja, for every one I Have seen have been gems and have entertained me throughout. Every move Angela makes is with handcuffs on, very symbolic in my mind; that even though she is free to move about, she is still trapped in the garage and bound by Tom. A kind of “no matter where you go, you are fucked” reminder. I am also glad to see virtually no gun use in this flick; a fork, crowbars, cars, a taser gun, an axe, flashlights and even water was used as a weapon… but no guns. Completely brutal and all improvised to stay alive for another minute; also because the fucking guy is only security and isn’t given a gun. Funny shit if he was given a gun and he just shot her 15 minutes into the film. Overall, I was very satisfied to throw this one in my shelf of DVDs and would recommend it to fans of High Tension and other cat and mouse type movie buffs that enjoy a fair amount of gore on top of it.

Thomas: What kind of car does he drive?
Angela Bridges: I don't know.
Thomas: You don't know? You don't know what kind of car your fiancé drives?
Angela Bridges: A Toyota.
Thomas: A Toyota? Now. that is a fast car. He could be here any minute...

An enjoyable movie, as put out by Synapse, of teenage girls attacking and eating people after they reach a point of happiness. Nicknamed Stacy, these young girls suddenly become sick and die, then come back as zombies and it's up to their fathers or brothers to kill them. Also helping them is a squad of repeat killers, both men and women; the women illegal of course. Overall good gore, some good scenes of heads with spines being ripped off and examined.

I happened to catch this movie last night on one of my off days after missing it in theatres and curiousity to see how the movie was. I had just finished watching American Gangster and this movie gave me the same kind of feel; a carless drug and alcahol induced club full of fun and dancing with smiles across the floor. After the manager's brother busts in with his drug task force, Bobby Green is dragged out and humiliated in front of his his paying guests; leaving him very pissed off and full of charcoal and ink. Leaving the precinct fresh out of a fight with his brother, then shortly after finding out his brother has been shot; Bobby puts aside all the petty bullshit and decides to join his father and set up the drug lord responsible for the attack and hospitialization of his brother. Denied his request; Bobby goes behind his fathers back and sets up Vadim Nezhinski and gets him, but also lands himself in the emergency room after being discovered as a sting and forced to jump out of a window. Alot of things have been taken from this point and alot of dues have had to been payed for Bobby Green; going from a happy night club manager to a man under protective custody who always has to look behind his back to make sure there's no one lurking to take in life in the shadows. Very bold and selfless in mind for him to have done this, considering the values many people have on lives these days. The quote written below was one of the best lines said in the movie and a turning point from the main character, completley changing the way he sees things. To be honest, I have never liked Joaquin Phoenix in a single role before this (tolerated him in Signs) but he really stuck out in this one; not using evil and preying on the protagonist but being one himself and maturing as a character before your eyes on the screen. Whether or not that was good acting or good dircetion is up in the air.. I overall liked the movie. I woulden't go out and buy this, but definetly a rental or catching it on a movie channel are both appropriate.

Joseph Grusinsky: Remember. It's better to be judged by twelve people, than carried by six.

Ex military personal turned driver named Derek gets frame by crime boss Vic Moretti after he finds out about his waife's afair with Derek. Now, stuck in prison for a crime he didn't commit, Derek waits and watches his former mates on death row get injected with mysterious drugs in the middle of the night. Buying his way into the prison and making the inmates his personal lab rats is Colonel Gordon Burgess (played by director John Saxon). Not too long after the first two injections by a prison guard, superhuman strentghs and abilities take hold of the prisoners and the entire building is quarantined. Breaking out of jail is a thought for most pirsoners, but now it's a thought for the warden and his family; who just like the prisoners and guards is stuck there until a cure is reached. Heads get ripped off and body parts are flung around in this anarchy filled flick, and a good job was done explaining the virus itself; kind of an original twist of the average "oh no, they're sick and thy're gonna eat us!" type movie. There are at least 5 back stabs in this movie.. oh, how sweet! Also in this dvd is a shock insurance certifacate worth $1,000 dollars in case someone watching the movie dies of shock they could be cominsated. Adds to the entire theme of the movie and a plus.

Vic Moretti: I'm a sucker for soft lips.

Since I could remember, i have wanted to see this movie. Hearing nothing bad about it, I put it on my to own list quite a long time ago. I recently aquired it for a good price off ebay and got to watch it this weekend... What a sucess! Directed by Stuart Gordon and produced by Charles band, this film takes the subjects of toys and/or dolls gone bad like Full Moon Legend Charles Band likes to do and puts the brutality and raw images that Stuart Gordon loves so much to capture on film right in the mix of it. After a stuck in the mud car insists on going nowhere; the three people inside (father, step mother and child from father) get on their feet to find some shelter from the approaching storm. Luckily they find a house to stay where the old couple living there shows them a good meal and to their rooms. Not being the only car to get stuck by that area, another group consisting of a man and two hitchhikers he picked up also find themselves at this house for the night. Little Judy Bower is upset about her teddy getting thrown into the forest by her stepmother, and Mrs. Hartwicke becomes aware of her feeling; letting her enjoy the company of one of theri toys; Mr. Punch. The owners of this house are toy makers and for some reason Judy seems to be the only one to see or hear the activity of these toys roaming the halls or in certain rooms. Other driver Ralph Morris is the only one who believes her stories; a man still young in his heart. All the other people in the house suffer the same fate after realizing the truth of the Hartwicke's toys just a little too late, and not having that "inner child" a select few adults have. Scenes with people fighting back against the toys show the veiwer some graphic insight on whats underneath the porcelin; skin and bones similar to that of people! Returning from his role as Toulon in the puppet master series is Guy Rolfe as the toymaker himself Mr. Hartwicke. After watching this movie I called a friend of mine to tell him it was everything I heard it hyped up to be.

Gabriel: What's the matter... afraid of the dark?
Judy Bower: No... afraid of what's in the dark.

...When the Patient Dies!
Over and over I've seen the senario, people caoxed into some sort of getaway and ending up isolated from the world with no phone signals or way to contact for help. This movie however, was way before the days of cellphones, it even came out around the same exact time as the classic that made this kind of road trip a horrifying nightmare; Tobe Hooper's Texas Chain Saw Massacre. In need of a getaway, Jason Jones is told of a place to go in order to cure all of his stress and problems. Little does he know the person reccomending him to this place is being payed to send him there, and that all of his problems will be solved.. once he is transformed into a labodimized solider at Dr. Chris Storm's Command! It just so happens to be the niece of the head nurse that runs the hospital's daughter who bumps into young Jason on the train, putting her in an awful predicamint to choose between making her niece a test subject or grabbing her and leaving. On that note, I would like to mention how this film has a old fashioned limosine that extracts a blade with a switch and decapitates whoever it crosses; with a bag right below it to catch the severed head. This limo is used several times in this film, never seems to get old too. One of the doctor's main sidekicks is a midget named Frederick; a bastard child born into the family from a prostitute in the house the main nurse used to own. throughout this film he shows many examples of how much it sucks to be that little; using people as ladders, crawling through tiny bathroom windows and such. Orverall, the story and violent scenes in this movie were good; some fight sequences looked as if the actors didnt want to hurt the other person, but hey.. it's the 70's! At the price this is going on dvd I would definetley reccomend just picking it up as oppose to renting it or trying to find it for view online. You will most likley watch this more than once; I know I will.

Dr. Chris Storm: Things are going from bad to worse right now and I kinda need a break.