Reviews by pamela voorhees

filmed in 1988, about a family who is brought up and tought lessons of both health and the body by their plastic friend named Pin. An anatomicaly correct model of the human body; Pin sits in dr. Linden's office and talks to both Leon and ursula about problems while growing up, but only when they're father is around. Good job dad; setting up you're kids with the pure belief of a friend who talks about getting cold from being naked all the time... who's a model of the human body, way to traumatize you're younger ones. Luckily for him it only affects Leon, who goes to Pin later on in his teenage years and without the help of his father, shows his sister Pin could talk back on his own. The look of fright in her face was awesome as she slowly turned to him and asked "When did you learn to do that?" Though there is about a cup full of blood in this movie, and virtually no one dies, the shock value actually bumps this film up to a decent/worth watching flick. Guess sometimes you need the right setting; no one home with the lights off and no way of seeing what is lurking behind you. Anyway, watching the slow slip of the man in front of you into a bi-polar nutcase with a single friend of which whom he painted over to look disturbingly real is time well well spent. For me nothing dragged out becuase of that, becuase in the little instances of boring dialouge, someone would say something not nice about Pin and he would snap. Knowing that Leon is that far gone; that he really thinks a total of three people live in the house must be a hard thing to swallow. Especially when your own brother threatnes to kick you out if you don't accept the fact that Pin is there to stay.

PIN: Have you heard from Leon?
Ursula Linden: No.
PIN: I miss him a great deal.
Ursula Linden: [camera pans down to reveal Leon has become Pin and Ursula begins to cry] So do I.

Just about any movie that features some sort of death scene within the first 4 or 5 minutes grabs my attention; as if to say "before the credits Shawn, here's a nice sequence of a man being sliced like a chunk of deli cheese." and I'm sucked in like that.
Here in this story are a group of people. People who find each other from different random rooms. Some room are found to be have hidden traps that do very serious damage to the human body. No one seems to know why they are there or where they actually are, but one things for certain; they need to find a way out. Attempting to master the traps; each person brings forth they're talent to pitch in and help as the group goes through room after room, dodging the violent booby traps. Suspicions sink in as time goes by, and with each person comes a point of view on what situation they are in, along with a person or group responsible. Man seems to be the greatest most destructive weapon of all in this movie; not only from the men who made this cube capable of evil unspeakable things, but the prisoners themselves who unleash their inner paranoia's on each other. Great flick with many different genres mixed in, a definite recommendation from me!


Quentin: For Christ's sake, Worth, what do you live for? Do you have a wife, or a girlfriend, or something?
Worth: Nope. I've gotta pretty fine collection of pornography.

...Nothing Will Scare You Again.
For years I tried to get my hands on this movie; but always got outbid or let it slip through my hands at a price more than I was willing to pay. Finally, after hearing too many good things about it I just went for it and spent the extra few bucks to get it. Made in 1976, I was suspecting quite a bit of boring dragged on dialogue and other situations I wouldn't like with bits and pieces or scary imagery. I actually enjoyed every part of this film, from the mystery of who was the killer with the raincoat and mask to the neighbors and relatives of the Spages family who you just love to hate. Starting off at a communion of Alice's sister turned into a murder scene, something just seems off about little Alice. Her need for attention, her attitude towards her neighbors and her interest in straying off into a chest in the apartment complex full of goodies (including something personal belonging to her sister). Before long, the count of bodies increases and the signs all seem to point to Alice, but that's no fun for a horror movie with no twist, now is it? Also a great acting debut for Brooke Shields as Karen, Alice's sister. Not as good as Alice herself, but the way she ended up fit perfectly and played a big part in this films morbid "no one is safe" atmosphere. I know this sounds like a sad fact but it is hard for a movie to make an impact on people these days without tremendous amounts of special effects and/or gore, but this is one of the few that sucked me in to the point where I am missing the food on the fork going all over my face instead of in my mouth due to complete attention on the screen. You know what I'm talking about!

Mr. Alphonso: Psst. Where are you going?
Alice Spages: None of your business, fatso.
Mr. Alphonso: Uh, I'm not feeling well and stores don't deliver on Sundays.
[he makes fake coughing noises]
Mr. Alphonso: How would you like to go to the store for me, please?
[Alice walks off]
Mr. Alphonso: That little bitch.

A 1984 film Directed and co-written by Danny Steinmann; about a teenager named Brenda who seeks revenge on a ruthless gang of drug dealers and rapists after an attack on her helpless harmless sister Heather. Confusing what’s tough for what’s stupid, the scars gang tours the streets of Los Angeles completely careless of their surroundings; unless that is, it appeals to them. Getting more than what they bargained for when a group of girls denied they’re request for a good time, the embarrassed group takes matters into their own hands and savagely dish out an act of revenge all their own. The foul mouthed group rapes Brenda’s sister and opens the door to pure insanity; and one pissed off chick with a cross bow! The streets are the battle ground for an epic battle of exploitive proportions! With the school’s principal unwilling to take actions, and the police being total “pussies”, Brenda and friends arm themselves and unite to settle the score against the gang named the Scars. In this film, there are many aspects and scenes depicting graphic violence and situations of rape, revenge, and overall anarchy in the lives of America’s youth. Among other films who try to capture this feeling, Savage Streets is one of the only films to actually make all of these things unbelievably convincing; and leave you stuck in the 80’s. The last time I felt like this while watching a movie (at least the rape sequences) was while viewing The Last House on The Left. As far as the fight in the ladies shower room, I don’t think I’ve EVER seen so many naked women randomly fighting. I thought someone slipped in Porky’s while I was getting some green tea. Linda Blair’s character is awesome is this movie. Fearless, tough and fucking pissed off all the time. The tub scene is awesome, because not only is Linda Blair naked, she’s angry, and the song in the background along with the slow zoom into her face filled with vengeance shows the chaos pending that will unfold. I especially liked how there was a struggle between Brenda and Jake, making it not only longer of a sequence, but way more personal too.

Fargo: The game’s over bitch. This time you’re dead for sure. First, I’m gonna fuck you. And then, I’m gonna slice you into little pieces.
Brenda: Sounds nice and kinky to me. Too bad your not double jointed.
Fargo: Why?
Brenda: Cuz if you were, You’d be able to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!

a 1987 film focused around a special effects man and his family enjoying a nice vacation up in isolation, only to have it savagely interrupted by a gang of punks. It’s odd to see Linda Blair on the other side of the leather punk get up and even odder how much product placement was in the first ten minutes of film. Making his entrance to Lisa’s friend in a monster costume; the man shows his love for the genre of his profession. He even goes as far as making a home movie attacking and attempting to kill his wife, just to get a scare. Not realizing the huge pile of shit awaiting them, the group of punks break in to the household and take over with knifes and other weapons, looking for anything of value. Not listening to the constant promises of nothing valuable at the house, the group decides that if “examples” were made of members of the family, other people might give up locations of the secret stash. While looking for the money/dope/diamonds, they stumble upon a member of the family they DO NOT want to deal with in the slightest. A hideously deformed freak of nature are giving these wannabes a run for the money they didn’t even get; and once he finds his family dead, the freakish son will not take anyone alive. After being gunned down under the impression that he was the killer, the only member left of the family is left with no option but to take matters into his own hands; with or without the cooperation of law enforcement. The film's conclusion is in fact its climax, the best part of the entire film was definitely the last 10 minutes; so if this film feels like it drags on, stick with it.. it's got an ending that will leave you "disfigured".

Made in 1986 (The same year this earth was blessed with me) about a guy named Adam who not only rocks out, but summons forces from Satan! Put in quite a pickle when the force he brings to his house decides to actually show up and narrow out the count of attendants at a party he hosts to get some quick money. With every guest that walks through the front door, comes another person you wish a slow painful death upon. Everything from overacting and being snobby to 80’s guys who wear thick shades even inside a dark room. Besides Adam, one of the only good guests I wouldn’t mind having at my house would have to be the hash brownies. Full of sorority people, this party is held by Adam’s girlfriend to get her sister liked and accepted by a certain sorority; no matter what the reason, just to help her doing something she wants. Little does she know that her boyfriend Adam has invited a guest of his own; a succubus named Lily who has nothing but sex and murder on her mind. What a funny idea, the fact that Adam’s girlfriend and her sister are bitching about losing their guys and all that drama, yet everyone else is getting cut down to size and killed. I think one of the only ways to stay alive during the course of a party where one girl seems to be seen with all of the guys before they disappear off the map completely is to stay by the hash brownies. What a good idea to puke on a chick who stole your man after catching them in bed together. I could think of million things to do in that situation, throwing up tequila is definitely not one of them; very creative. “Dremaniac introduces Lily, a deadly lady who makes Freddy look like a bargain basement boogeyman!” This quote from the movie’s box is pure bullshit. I understand some critics who say things like this, but this was a catchline for the film, which never made the big screen and used it being “too gory” as an excuse. Man, I need to open a window because it smells like bullshit in my room. Aside from the quote on the box the film is actually a pretty good 80’s slasher; but that’s it. Nothing tattoo worthy, nor top 10 worthy, but possibly top 20 80’s low budget slashers worthy?

O, that’s right. You’re Francis; I thought I recognized those small tits.

The third and last installment in the Basket Case Trilogy, and boy... what an ending! The movie takes Duane, Belial, and the rest of the freaks we have known to love on a road trip to the south to visit the only doctor they can trust, an old friend and caretaker of granny Ruth's child. Savage police officers kidnap the litter of mini Belials after hearing what value they posses and cause an uproar from their father that will ultimately be the bloody destruction of the town police force! Faces get ripped, heads get crushed, and best of all, a solid steel body full of weaponry gets made custom for our angered father.. and used without compromise or pity on his opponents. Fuck the man! I saw this on Ebay as a high priced seller, but after seeing the second installment of this series, I immediately bought it and would recommend doing that same thing to anyone questioning they're dollar.

Baxter: We've gotta go out there with more than shotguns for Christs sakes. We're gonna need fucking bazookas!
Sheriff: Alright, alright, look. You boys have been through alot tonight. Bailey you book the Bradley boy. Baxter take the bassinet of baby Belial's in back and get Brody to come by! Where's Brannon and Banner?
Baxter: Bowling.
Bailey: It's thursday Sheriff.
Sheriff: Aha. Call the lane and tell 'em to get their butts back here! In the meantime, I'm going out there myself!

The Virgin Slaughter, or as by my DVD artwork; AXE. This short movie (68 mins.) following a group of sadistic men who do or say anything that is on they're mind, no questions asked. Killing through torture and taunting when they see fit. It seems that there is no one to answer to when it comes to these men; two of which are unstoppable, and the third seems to be along for the ride; that is until they drive by an old farm and decide to poke around a little bit. Found inside are two inhabitants, a young woman named Lisa and her paralyzed grandfather of whom she looks after and takes care of. Seeing no threat at all by the strange couple, the group makes themselves at home and quickly become kins of the castle for they're stay. Forcing her to keep away the police cars that show up as well as cook, they seem to be in control of a woman they barley know. The brutality starts when one of the man decides later in the night to pay a visit and get him a piece from the sweet young Lisa; little does he know she's got a blade just waiting to be passed through his jugular. letting the blood flow in self defense, Lisa decide to bring out the killer deep inside her and takes the corpse to the bathtub for a hacking and downsizing for storage. putting use to the phrase "40 whacks", Lisa shows just what an isolated country girl could do to men who think they own the world. For the time it was made, this movie did manage to set an atmosphere within it of the gangs victims; along with hope for Lisa and her faithful axe and straight blade to prevail and KILL.

Lomax: Why'd he jump out the window... it's 12 floors down.
Steele: Nah... it's only 9.

seeing many ads for this movie and hearing words like "cult classic" really got me hyped to buy this on a DVD-R version, as oppose to the official VHS that came out. the cover itself compares it to Freddy Krueger and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; then states that Junior is a cut above. Bold statement. hoping for them to be right and watching for something to happen; nothing hit me like the other two horror films mentioned; and that really got to me for the film's ad agency to actually write that and stick to their quote. Just try and make it as a movie on your own, instead of comparing legends and putting the fans through the disappointment of expecting such a fantastic film. Isn't saying it is good enough for people wanting to view this? Had that been the case, I would have definitely been writing something different here; but instead i went to this with full focus expecting to have a 90 minute treat for my eyes. Sure, this movie had sleaze and sadistic torture scenes in it, but NOTHING in comparison to any other successful horror movie franchise. It is it's own story, and had i received it with the VHS other title "Hot Water", i would have enjoyed the film more, instead of looking for imperfections. the plot is about two women who get out of jail to clean they're life up and open up a business; only to be bothered and harassed by the local men... and even by the police sheriff himself. One man in particular, Junior, is more disturbed than others and goes after the women day in and day out with numerous tactics and the support of his mother. This film was more of a sleaze picture and less of a slasher; with one bad ass scene revolving around one of the women being surrounded with nothing left to do but take her bikini top off.. as use it as an accelerant for a Molotov Cocktail with a 40 too! truly the best scene/idea the movie has. Don't see this picture as junior or expect anything over the top to compare to legends; but as a flick on it's own and you'll get another 80's sleaze treat.

Hearing an actual release date and time for this film really got me excited; for some reason no matter how big the backing and fanbase is for the Star Wars film series, I didn't think it would make it to theaters. Sure enough, there it was, and the day it came out i went to on e the first showings; leaving enough time to take care of my head before seeing it of course. Up until the movie started, i just was going on the shear fact that a movie was made about Star Wars fans; not realizing it actually had a deeper plot than that. Five friends are reunited at a Halloween party, and though times were different and people saw life in different ways, all gets put aside for one of them is terminally ill and all 5 team up to storm the Skywalker Ranch and steal a copy of the rough "Episode One" chapter of the Star Wars film series to view before it is too late for Linus. Along the way from Ohio to California the group encounter a great deal of things which thicken up the plot and add to the laughter count including beating up Trekkies, hilusinating on peyote, and RUSH, all rush, all the time. Not a bad ending as well, not too sad, but just enough to give the idea of what happened; and how the trip to California wasn't only for the movie, but to have one last great bond between the five. Also, this film had alot of cameos including Seth Rogen (Three Times!), Danny Trejo, and none other than princess Leia Organa herself; Carrie Fisher.

William Shatner: Are you kidding? I'm William Shatner; I can score anything.