Reviews by pamela voorhees

The second chapter of the murder for money saga, and I hope to see a third one. This one picks up where it left of and cuts connections to the first like the Friday the 13th series. One survivor for the original, just to be killed ten minutes into the second movie. Brilliant. Following shortly after is a group of college girls taking a trip to prague for a getaway during a school break. Nothing short of gruesome and graphic, this film follows the tradition of the Elite Hunting Squad, and dives deeper into not only what they are about but also our favorite group of children.. The Bubblegum Gang. The main character is rich beyond what people could imagine, which saves her life in the end of the movie; let's just say she invests in the Hunting Company itself. In my opinion, not one expansion of character plot or specific dialouge bored me or led me astray from enjoying the film. It plugged in all the holes from the first Hostel chapter and answered pretty much all the questions I had when I left the theatre the first time. Also, the irony of the buildup from the bid in America to the actual job itself of killing the women that were won through bidding really won me over; how little nervous people end up being complete fucking maniacs when the right button is pushed. Anyone could amp themselves up about doing things, but when the weapon is put in their hands and the money has been payed.. Both men showed what they were truley capable of. Seeing the director of "Cannibal Holocaust" make a cameo as a killer who ate his victim while he was still alive opened my eyes so wide and made me crack up. Good shit Deodato. All in all, great sequel in my collection, and not at all a waste of time.

Drunk Italian: I knew you were a tease you fucking cunt.
Beth: What the fuck did you call me?
Drunk Italian: I called you stupid fucking American cunt!
Beth: Fuck you!
Drunk Italian: The train to fucking Prague is long you bitch! We'll come see you.

THE revenge movie. Shot in 1974 is a twisted tale about "One Eye" Settling the score with those responsible for doing her wrong; and I mean it when I say payback's a bitch. A young woman who misses her bus is picked up by a man fixated on making this girl his new moneymaker. He ends up getting her hooked to thst potent and pure of heroins; offering her fixes for free if and only if she makes him money by selling herself. Now nothing but an addict and a slave (with only one eye after trying to fight back), she puts all of her profits and every bit of her heart in making the man pay; along with his loyal customers who degrade and rape her on a regular basis. Not one word is uttered from her lips due to a childhood sexual assualt not too specified in the movie, but still in the script. This in my mind builds a stronger character with nothing to say, just speaking through her actions. Fucking Brilliant. Shot including very graphic scenes; one of the only film I've ever seen with sexual penetration(and a sick creme pie I might add) and other drug use and gun blasts made this the first movie to ever be banned from the country of Sweeden. There are also extreeeeemly slow fight sequences, almost unessasarly slow, one of it's only flaws depending on if your stoned or not. So much gets built up to the climax, so much training she pays for; gun practice, martial arts skills, and a kickass trenchcoat.

There are no quotes from this movie in this review becuase not a word was said by the one they call "One Eye", she let her guns speak for her.. they cried Blood Vengeance!

In the tradition of things, this movie was released on July 4th 1997. This movie shows the danger of weaponry.. even to those who use it. Sam Harper is gunned down by friendly fire during Operation Desert Storm; to only return after his remains were found to kill the unpatriotic of his hometown. Dressed for the occasion in his general's suit, with medals pinned to what used to be his chest, he carries out in the night set for murder to those who disgrace the constitution and our values and rights as americans. Shortly thereafter; one of his first kills allows him to take the shape of Uncle Sam himself! I love the irony how the main character is actually an uncle... named Sam. Good going Lustig. Slowly Sam is truthfully brught out as the man he really is; a trigger happy violent animal who only joined the army to fill his bloodlust. His nephew praises him as a hero who died for his country and stays by his coffin whenever he gets the chance, but after finding out that his mother was battered by him as well as Sam's wife, his aunt, his thoughts soon change. Joined by One legged survivor of the overseas battle Jed Crowley (Issac Hayes) they now must try to re-take the town over from Sam Harper's undead hands and stop his rampage. Without a doubt a good film to watch every fourth of July to get in the horror holiday mood, but this film to me does not compare to William Lustig's other two greats... "Maniac Cop" and "Maniac".

Sam: Don't be afraid, it's only friendly fire.

Over the top awesome flick! Antonio Banderas plays El Mariachi; a man looking for not only work to fit his talent to entertainer, but a man who calls himself Bucho. This man took what he held dear right in front of him; a former girlfriend and put a decent size hole in his hand as well. Now, the legend of the Mariachi has come true and to a filthy mexican bar near you! After several shootouts left him weakened and his only friend dead, he is left with no choice but to give his band members a call.. and yes, they brought their guitars! Watching it for the first time in over a year last night, the movie sucked me in to the point where i contimplated getting up even to go to the bathroom until the movie was over. Many gruesome head and neck shots in this movie along with Danny Trejo!

Short Bartender: [nervous] Is there something in the guitar case?
El Mariachi: Yeah.
Short Bartender: What?
El Mariachi: My guitar.

The highly anticipated movie from movie reviewer/model April Monique Burril; where she plays the role of a chainsaw weilding freak named Sally. Being Gunar Hansen's daughter as well as being named Sally (the only survivor in the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre) was just too much of a rip off to get my vote as a good flick. Many people waited for a picture from this pin up of gore, and i believe that led to the rush of production and distribution. Im not sure of a fixed budget or just a limited imagination, but something in this picture was lacking. Able to see the screening at a monster mania a couple years back, my drunk self tried not to say anything too harsh while being shown. Overall it was a fun movie, with some death scenes (sparkler to the groin especially) out of the ordinary that were good. Left with her brother (Toxie's gay lover in Citizen Toxie) the two survive off her librarian salary while killing for fun and trying to keep they're property for fear of change. There's always room for a second chance, a better sequel.. not all original movies are gems. Also, Mr. H.G. Lewis makes a cameo as the store owner named Mr. Gordon. that's about it.



Sally: Ruby, give me the knife or I swear I'll rip out your tongue by the roots and feed it to the dog!
Ruby Diamon: We don't have a dog. We ate it, remember?
Sally: Well, then I'll get another one and then we'll see what happens!

Directed by Léon Paul De Bruyn, one of the most absract movies of the 90's in my eyes. Narrated by someone other than Morgan Freedman, about one young girls love for military comics and guns and her journey into a sadistic sexual cult of maniac nurse lesbians who she calls "family". Sabrina is a complexed girl, very hard to please, or so says her lover (and leader of the cult) Ilsa. Trapping innocent people along the road and performing homestyle un-needed surgeries just doens not cut it for Sabrina. She lives in a fantasy world where a gun is always by her side; like a part of her own body. Thrown into all the madness between the two lovers is a thrid party; Ilsa's ex, who tries everything she can to break up the happy couple and put Ilsa in the dirt where she feels she is now. A secret which has been built up the whole movie gets thrown right in Sabrina's face in the climatic love triangle; that she is in fact Ilsa's daughter. Ending in puddles of blood and little to no clothes, this movie definetley bugged me the fuck out. Some have though, but no one projected a narration of madness and a projection of random words such as "hitler" flash across the screen and fly your way. Specific tales telling of the group loss of feeling and sexual desires while one nurse dances under a computer generated multi colored swirl.. if you watch this movie, i suggest keeping a bag of weed near by for a sure good time and a guaranteed mind fuck.


Greta: [Gardener's tongue has been served for dinner] He once ate my pussy, that is why I guarantee the quality of his tongue.

The 1985 (what a year!) Flick about a new treat found within the earth that tastes suprisingly good and becomes an obssesion with the American public. Before long, Jason realizes that not only is it becomes an every day dessert for him and his family, it's the only thing left in the fridge! Completely stocked with The Stuff; Jason knows this is not just an afternoon treat. He teams up with an ex-FBI agent named Rutherford along with an emplyee working in advertising this epidemic goo and "chocolate chip" Hobbs, the group tries to bring the all confusming fluffy stuff known to comsume it's cosumers. Very original and also a stab at american culture, this movie definetley stuck with me, hope it wasn't the stuff's fault! Makes you think at this day, what is the equivilant to the Stuff? A message to the people not only about the stuff, but about everything:
Buyer beware.. it might EAT YOU!

Jason: What am I supposed to do?
Jason's Brother: What you're supposed to do, you're supposed to EAT IT, that's all; you eat it and eat as much of it as you can and you KEEP eating it!

Directed by Tim Ritter; this film shows just how crazy men can get while suspecting there better half of being less than faithful. All his worst fears seem to come true for Tom Russo as he turns the pages of his wife Leeza's personal diary (or at least he thought it was) and uncovered all her sexual experiences while he wasn't around. Not knowing what to do; Tom lets his murderous anger get the best of him and begins his killing spree in an awfully psychotic manner. Being in this same situation makes me feel bad for Tom, and not blame him for dimembering and taking the lives of all the men thought to have had they're way with his Leeza. At this point I would like to point out (SPOILER ALERT) that not even the audience is aware these entries written in Leeza's diary are just short stories to try and get her foot in the door at writing companies. By the end of the movie, the bodies have piled up and Tom admits to what he has done for her. Instead of confronting her about it, he waits and lets the numbers of murders by his hands rise. Good job man, i would have done it in your shoes as well. Very funny and sick, in a Troma-esque type style of movies, but better. And not to mention his plays on words are o0nes not to forget!

Tom Russo: You screw my wife, I screwdrive your head!

Welcome to Motel Hello, home of a great room for the night with care and hospitality; not to mention the best beef jerky around! Farmer Vincent takes pride and keeps his recipe a secret-to only himself and his sister. The couple work hard to get the meat, trapping by-passers and truckers and nurturing them til they're plump enough for the final move; a nice snap of the neck with a rope and the tractor then off to the smokehouse! Ironically, Farmer Vincent's brother is an upholder of the law and the climax (chainsaw fight in the smokehouse between brothers with Vincent wearing a pig's head) is one of the best out of 80's horror movies-Period. As the tagline says: You just might die.. Laughing!

Vincent Smith: There's too many people in the world and not enough food. Now this takes care of both problems at the same time.

Another great take on a Stephen king novel! this one directed by Tom Holland, about a rather large, careless man who accidently kills a gypsy with his car due to not paying attention/recieving road head. Placed on him is a curse which makes him thinner, and thinner.. and you get the idea. Before long, Billy Halleck realizes he is not sticking to his diet, yet he is still losing a remarkable amount of weight...daily. After going to a friend of his that has connections with organized crime, the gypsy is forced to reveal how to lift the curse and cure him. The role of Billy was played by a man not too fat nor thin, so he can be molded as both unhealthy thin and fat, good move. I really enjoyed the ending, after all, there is always room for pie.

Henry Halliwell: This diet you're on, what is it? I've tried all the others, I might as well try this one.
Billy Halleck: I don't think you'd like it Henry. In fact, I don't think you'd like it at all.