Reviews by pamela voorhees

Another film from the third version of After Dark films Horrorfest, released in 2009 and quite arguably the best installment yet. Taking place in a small town of Tasmania, Australia, where a woman is funded to go off and find some evidence of the existence of the tiger who is believed to be extinct. Accompanying her on her journey is her boyfriend and another couple who consist of his best friend and his girlfriend as well. The four of them are off into the wilderness to finish the research started by the woman’s sister, who was found dead in the same exact place 8 years earlier. Most believe it was drowning, but as the group gets deeper into the land; the truth about what really happened to her sister and the terror they will soon face begin to take snowball effect and leave them fighting to escape before they know it. Filled with strange people who happen to fear (and will sacrifice anything) to the land’s legend named “the Pieman” who survived in the territory by eating other people banished there in the past. Though the numbers don’t stack up like a normal slasher, this film packs more suspense and makes up for the numbers by upping the dose of gore and sheer inhuman nature possessed by these lunatics who run the town; and throughout the film pies seem to be the main dish still on everyone’s plate.

Matt: [sees Jack cut the yellow ute's front right tire] what does that achieve?
Jack: Nothing, but i feel better eh? Come on, let's have a beer.

I’m drawing a blank. Most films I’d know what to start writing about, but there are so many good aspects of this film; the plot, the violence, the close calls, the acting, the climax.. that I don’t know where to start. Reading about the film, I immediately picked it up, and sat on it for about a week or two, waiting for the perfect time to watch it. That time was today, and I must say; I am blown away by this movie. The story follows a police officer named Dwayne Hopper, who’s family is falling apart after the kidnapping of his son Kyle ten years ago. Unable to let go, yet seemed to move on, Dwayne is a heavy drinker with thoughts of the past in his head; when his family was complete and life was good. At work one night, officer Hopper noticed strange similarities between a man in the holding cell and suspect who was never caught for the strain of 14 kidnappings in the town; including his son’s. Now, with a few drinks in him and mounting evidence that he is the one, Hopper takes Mr. Perkins back to his house where the secret is unlocked, and so are the victims of Mr. Perkins; a man who watched his parents get murdered and vowed to seek vengeance of the town who “moved on” from the case that ruined his life and left him alone. Putting the pieces together after it is too late, Hopper realizes there was nothing in common with the 14 children that were kidnapped, nothing except the fact that they were all taken from families that took part in Perkins’ suffering, and their children would grow up to be monsters responsible for the demise of the small town of Stone Cove. This film not only had me stuck to the TV while the disaster struck and the violence spree broke out; but long before then, when the film started and the dialogue suggested amazing scenes to follow shortly thereafter. The best film in the third annual After Dark Horrorfest (that I’ve seen so far), this film is one NOT to miss!!

Grodsky: Think of it as a mercy killing for a sick animal.

The movie starring Jim Carrey who plays a man name Carl, who is content with his life going nowhere and saying no to everything that he comes in contact with. After missing his best friends Bachelor party, his social life seems to be completely gone, as well as his will to live with the outside world. Right when he feels at an all time low, an old friend teaches him to say “Yes” to everything, completely changing his life. At the beginning of his quest to innovate and change his old life, he felt the idea to be more of a nuisance; but it turned out in the long run to be responsible for many good times and the best change in his life. Flying planes, jumping off buildings, and finding a Iranian mail-order bride; this movie has a lot of funny parts, as only Jim Carrey would be a part of. Winner of the MTV Award for best comedic performance for 2008, this is one of the best I’ve seen of Carrey in quite a few years.

Carl Allen: Hey Carl... you wanna give your money away to some homeless guy? Yes, yes I do. How bout letting him use up the phone battery so that you cant get help when your car runs out of gas? You know what? That sounds like a fuckin' great idea!

After stealing from a local grocery store, five teens are on the run, and before they know it, the cops are chasing them besides the store clerk. With the pressure on and nowhere to go, the teens decide to take the only route with a chance of escape; unaware that this route is for sure a death sentence for each and every one of them. Realizing the group is lost, and they shortly thereafter have no car left, the group follows the one who took charge and tries to find civilization. Getting spookier and spookier, this film starts out like an R rated Scooby Doo episode, but ends up delivering with some great zombie makeup as well as amazing scenery. For a split second, I thought that this was the movie the group of people watched during the film “Demons” which is also directed by Lamberto Bava, but realized soon after that though at this film came out several years after. If you know what film I am talking about, you could just picture the darkness, and try to get the thick cobwebs out of your hair. As oppose to the teens just stumbling onto a cemetery like in that picture, there is a bit more depth to this story. Finding themselves in an inn of some sort (that wasn’t there during the daylight hours), one of the kids takes a bet that has a superstitious past to it. In order to claim a large amount of money and jewels, the kid has to put some in of his own and spend a night in a crypt where the bartender says “it’s as easy as taking you’re last breath”. As well as the depth in the story, there is also a huge twist on the ending and classic kinds of monsters who stalk and try to kill the living ones disturbing they’re graveyard. I even think I saw a midget wearing a KISS shirt!! Finally available on region 1 DVD, this “Tombs of The Blind Dead” meets “City of The Living Dead” Italian horror flick will be a worthy addition to anyone’s movie collection.

Picked this one up a while ago and never got the opportunity of watching it due to being low on my priority list, Creep suddenly seemed like it was bumped to the top after reading into it and recently seeing it on a pretty well put together list of the 20 most underrated horror films of the decade. A young fashion model agent finds herself trying to catch up with a friend who has vip club tickets to an event where George Clooney is. Hoping to snag herself a real man, she gets a ride then tries to catch the last subway to the place. From the moment she wakes up to find herself alone and missing the last train, the tension builds as terror stalks Kate and tries to make sure this is the last subway she’ll catch! Now, stuck inside a locked subway station, Kate finds herself confused between what has just happened to her co-worker Guy (whom just attempted to rape her), whether it was a crazy vigilante trying to help her, or if it was killer hungry for blood no matter who’s it is. This sort of atmosphere reminds me of past films such as P2 and High Tension; where one character is fighting for her life against some other force, and somehow bodies find their way onto the screen and start to pile up. Not only are there no stupid characters, but there is not a lot of filler time, stupid dialogue and there is also a beginning scene which sets the mood real well. This film is an example of using the right camera and lighting with minimal extras, but ones that actually count and leave a film stuck in the viewers mind as a good one.

Jimmy: [They have discovered a barely alive Guy on the tracks] What you lookin at me for?
Kate: I don't know. Can we just get him off the rails?
Jimmy: He tried to rape you - let him rot!
Guy: Please - help!
Jimmy: FUCK off!

Another great film starring Linda Blair about a college fraternity that celebrates and inducts it’s new pledges by making them stay in a house all night by themselves; only to come back and torture and scare the life out of them. I guess this somehow tests they’re endurance and fear factor, for this is not a normal everyday kind of house you see while walking to get groceries. This house was cursed by a family who’s fourth generation had nothing but terrible offspring, so the father of the family killed everyone in his family, but one child; who had to witness the murder of his whole family and was never found. Before sealing the cages on the gate of the house, the president of the college house took them pledges on a tour and spooked the shit out them by telling them that awful story that revealed the history of the house, and left the option open that the small brother somewhere is alive and waiting in this house for victims; in all of his deformity. As the other members come back to make the scare, they find out the story was true, and most feel the ferocity of that once young kind brother who had a family, and his sanity. Built up pretty well, in the tradition of April Fools Day, where you almost can’t tell what is real and what is just a prank; and also giving you a certain good feeling when the other college kids come back.. So you know the body count will go from just four, to much more.

Denise Dunsmore: Quaaludes and Jack Daniels.
Seth: This is one radical chick.

After being shown this movie and what it’s about by my friend’s brother, I looked into seeing it for myself; even if it meant buying it, because I had a feeling I’d be watching it on more than one occasion in the future. I’m happy to say that Onechenbara: Zombie Bikini Squad is rare movie that entertained me with nearly every aspect and made an excellent addition to my collection. The movie follows two people; Aya and her friend Katsuji, on the quest to find her sister and destroy the one responsible for the beginning of nationwide plague of zombies… whom they constantly have to look out for and battle throughout. Along with them shortly follows another living person with a sinister motive for revenge against the living dead, taking her daughter’s life and leaving her with nothing but hatred and murder on her agenda. Together, the three (well the two girls mostly) stack up the bodies with some awesome kill scenes and great camera angles, some of which I’ve seen once before.. IF that. Aya’s search for her sister is quickly established that it is not a rescue, but a search and destroy mission for her to get back at her sister for the murder of her own father. Joining the one who tampered with genetics to create an ultimate war machine, Dr. Sugita and Saki are two people who have NO idea what’s coming to them! Plenty of gore pretty much throughout, both from the edge of a samurai blade and the barrel of a gun.

Katsuji: How ‘bout we go kill some zombies!!!

The sixth chapter of the Saw series, in which Detective Hoffman has successfully set up agent Strahm and put the blame on him for the murders that follow. In complete control, Hoffman has now gone from the jigsaw killer handyman and local muscle to the man behind the plan himself. Without giving too much away, I’ll let you all know he is the one responsible for both John and Amanda’s deaths; leaving him to continue the games as he sees fit. Now, the teacher of the ultimate lessons of life has a new problem to overcome; himself being caught. With the evidence mounting up more and each time he sees the agents working the case, Hoffman must act quick to finish his plan before he is discovered; and John’s final will goes undone. I for one was a fan of the plot, not only did the scenes and games do good in my book, but the way the writers kept the heat on for Hoffman, just pushing him to mess up and having the other detectives toying with him and playing games as to whether or not they know his involvement in the whole thing. Using up and recycling every aspect of the series is also a plus for me as well, leaving no stone unturned or no question unanswered; and doing it well. The games featured in this movie seemed to get amped up, more people were added and that means only one thing: more bodies and awesome death scenes! Seeing these movies really does give me a new lease on life, a more of an appreciation, as do I get pleasure in seeing the evil committed by the game’s players; and the moment they get what’s coming to them. Even though a couple people did not deserve to be put into it, the ones who did really showed what will they have to stay alive. Good going, looking forward to the 7th, I’m hearing in 3D?

Jigsaw: You think it's the living who will have ultimate judgment on you, because the dead will have no claim over your soul.
[crumples application]
Jigsaw: But you may be mistaken.

Based on Clive Barker's Books of Blood book series, this tale tells of the suffering and thoughts of ghosts; along with the medium they use to project they're angers and share they're stories with the living. When captured and awaiting death from a madman hell bent on taking his life; Simon decides to share what he has gone through and puts himself at acceptance with death, but not before he shares his story. Recently called upon for his medium powers to spend a few nights in a house with a psychic researcher and see if anything strange goes on through the study. After weird things were declared fake and staged by Simon himself, he did what he could the next nights to prove himself to this woman ashamed to have asked for his help. Taking it too far and inviting the evil into his body, Simon’s skin soon becomes the passage and canvas for the stories of the dead. This movie does have quite a bit of Clive Barker Influence in it, both the scenes of skin being peeled in his oh so famous manner as well as the perverse scenes which are his character’s inner thoughts. This wasn’t my favorite adaptation of a Clive Barker book, but that is one big shoe to fill. No doubt this was a good release for the new decade, and hoping for more with this style to come along. With or without the body, the skin always becomes marked with another tale…

Wyburd: Where are you headed, friend?
Simon McNeal: Away.
Wyburd: Away?
Simon McNeal: As far away as I can go.
Wyburd: [leaning close] I think I can help with that.

So much to say, not only about this movie, but about what the footage was. Made for Michael Jackson’s private library was the footage in this movie, where the rehearsals and sound checks took place for his upcoming “This Is It” Tour. Sitting down and viewing this movie was almost like the lead up to the titanic; in which things just got better and the rehearsals looked like a great time, but you know what is to come. I’m happy I got to actually see it in theaters, and if the tour came to America and I actually got to be a part of that; not only would I know I’d have a blast but Michael Jackson would have without a doubt in my mind redeemed his name as the king of pop in the States. A spectacle put on by a true artist, that of a rare breed as we have seen by the many recent horrid acts who call themselves musicians. The man himself Michael Jackson is hands on with every aspect of the show, leaving nothing to anyone else, and kind and understanding to say the least. Each song in this show has its own theme, like they are each an experience their own, and the songs shown were nailed on what they would say if they could talk. The atmosphere, the outfits, were all oozing with heart. There is a part in the film where despite Michael’s attempts to sing lightly due to practice amounts, he can’t help but give a song his all; and was cheered on by his fans and dancers who were in attendance. Very sad to know that a man with such talent has left this earth long before he was due to, and that this tour will never happen. At least there is this film, which ended on a high note, and captured his message to deliver to the world. Rest in Peace Michael. Maybe they will leave you alone now.